Infection
by MasquedAngel
Summary: Kanda stared at the beautiful snow haired boy, realizing with open eyes just how deeply he was infatuated with him. It was so dangerous, teetering on the verge of catastrophe. It was an infection, seeping into his very existence. It all started after that one mission... Slight AU, Yullen, rating might go up.
1. Worry

Kanda stared at the beautiful snow haired boy, realizing with open eyes just how deeply he was infatuated with him. It was so dangerous, teetering on the verge of catastrophe. It was an infection, seeping into his very existence. It all started after that one mission...

* * *

**Infection**

_Chapter One: Worry_

Kanda Yuu wasn't the type to worry. Quite frankly, he couldn't give a damn about anything, except that changed when a certain white haired exorcist joined the Black Order. The moyashi got under his skin at everything he said. All those little smiles, trying to always be a gentleman, all of it was just fucking annoying.

But Kanda had grown used to it, comfortable even. And the object of his annoyance has been gone for over a month and a half on a mission that was supposedly easy. Just a few akuma, grab the innocence, get in, get out. Simple as that. So why the hell was the beansprout gone for a month and a half now?

It wasn't like Kanda to worry, and it especially wasn't like him to be thinking about Allen Walker. Much to his annoyance, he could not stop worrying and thinking about _him_. Over time, Kanda had almost enjoyed his random spats with the beansprout. In a strange way, Kanda relied on it. At least it gave him something to do. It was overwhelmingly consistent. It was a rock.

A month and a half without the kid was utterly strange for the samurai to deal with after dealing with him for so long. Granted, when Allen was supposedly killed by the Noah known as Tyki Mikk, Kanda had grown even more irritable and even less social, if it was possible.

Since when did the Japanese man give a damn about the British beansprout? It was like the emotion came out of nowhere. He couldn't pinpoint where and whenever it started. He could only remember feeling anxious about those god damned rumors of the sprout's death months ago. Now, Kanda was thrown back into a world of worry. Though he and Allen never referred to each other as friends out loud, it was clear they did share _something._

At least, that was what Kanda thought on the matter.

"Damn, I need to get my head on straight," he murmured aloud to himself. To alleviate his stress, he grabbed Mugen and walked out of his small room in the new Black Order HQ. Whenever he was stressed, it was good for him to work out and train, since it required less thinking and more physical work. It was generally the one place his thoughts never bothered him, as if the walls of the training room blocked out all the things he wanted to leave behind.

The only thing it didn't manage to keep out was obnoxious nuisances, like the baka usagi, for one.

"Yo, Yuu! Komui's looking for you. You've got a mission!" a very familiar voice called out.

Kanda repressed a sigh. Nonstop for the past few weeks, he'd been sent out on missions left and right. He figured Komui was finally giving him a break when he told him he could just come back to headquarters after four missions straight, not even returning to the Black Order. Even if Kanda would never admit it, even he had his limits, and four missions back to back for nearly a month was wearing him down.

Lavi walked over to the samurai and said, "You've been quite the busy guy lately. I guess Komui's trying to cover since we're down one exorcist…"

"Shut up, rabbit. I'm not in the mood to listen to you talk right now."

Surprisingly, Lavi shut up and walked by Kanda in silence. Upon walking to Komui's office, they ran into Lenalee. "Kanda! Lavi!"

"Hey, Lenalee. Have you heard any news about Allen?" Lavi asked. That was almost always the greeting around the headquarters now, between practically anyone excluding Kanda.

Kanda pretended not to show any interest—or worry—in the topic, but listened intently.

"No, I haven't… I hope he's okay…" Kanda could tell she had been crying. "Lavi, what if he's hurt critically? What if he's… dead?"

As much as Kanda wanted to ignore it, his own heart ached a little, too. He just couldn't imagine Allen really being gone. Even when he heard rumors of Allen's supposed death, he honestly figured he was still alive. If that experience had taught him anything, it was that Allen was just as vulnerable as any other exorcist and _could_ very well die on a mission. That would be why Kanda was worried by his absence.

"Haven't they at least been able to contact Link?" Lavi questioned.

"No… they haven't," Lenalee answered sadly. "They lost all contact. The finder that went with them is also MIA."

"Tch, the idiot is probably at some restaurant stuffing his face," Kanda said in a failed attempt to calm down the Chinese woman. "We have other things to worry about."

"So are you admitting that you're worried?" Lavi asked with that annoying smirk of his.

"Tch," Kanda replied, ignoring Lavi's latest comment. "I've got a mission to go to." With that, he walked away, leaving Lavi and Lenalee behind.

"Kanda's been acting grouchier lately. I wonder why…" Lenalee mumbled.

"I bet it has to do with Allen," Lavi guessed. With his bookman memory, he couldn't help but see a connection between the exorcist's disappearance and Kanda's steadily worsening mood. He hadn't acted this annoyed and pissed at the world since he'd first met Kanda. Lately, Kanda would grouch at him before he could even utter the name he hated. Today was the most somewhat friendly contact he'd had with the samurai in the month and a half Allen had been missing.

"Really? What makes you think that, Lavi?" Lenalee asked, still sniffling a little.

"Kanda's attitude has been worse without Allen around."

Lenalee thought about it for a minute before a light bulb seemed to go off in her head as realization dawned on her. "You think Kanda has feelings for Allen?"

"Yup, and I have a plan…"

"Lavi, we don't even know if Allen's okay! We shouldn't meddle when things could be serious… We need to know Allen's okay," she said, her voice wavering at the thought of her friend's possible condition. What if the Noah took over Allen and he killed Link? Why was he missing? Why couldn't they locate Timcampy?

Dark thoughts and questions swam through her head. She couldn't lose another friend, another family member. It would destroy her. There was too much tragedy going on lately. She recalled the times she would go to her brother's office and find a Sir Komlin that went haywire. As annoying as those times had been, they had been almost fun. At least it wasn't as bad as sending in exorcists on missions that very well could mean their death. It wasn't fair that they had to deal with this. If god really loved them, they would get the bliss of ignorance. Had they all sinned and not realized it?

"Lenalee, I'm sure Allen will be fine," Lavi said carefully. "Whenever he gets knocked down, he gets right back up again."

"I hope you're right…"

…

Kanda sighed when Komui dismissed him from the briefing. He was to leave immediately after he was done packing and eating. As much as Kanda hated being so busy, it was kind of nice to have the distraction. It really wasn't much of one because he always thought of Allen's mission.

Dammit.

He hated the feelings he felt. Kanda wasn't supposed to have feelings for a damn beansprout exorcist who had a bad habit of getting himself into terrible positions. If he could, he would just shut off those feelings. Besides, the kid was probably dead or taken over by a Noah right now. He was the enemy.

After he made his way to his room, he fumed as he threw clothes in his suitcase. Something about seeing the beansprout as his enemy unsettled him. It was just wrong after working side by side with him and seeing the damn boy's hero complex. He wanted to save everyone, and he was the one under surveillance for a connection to the enemy? Putting it in that perspective almost made Kanda laugh a bitter laugh out loud.

Once his clothes were in the suitcase, messily arranged or not, he sat down on the side of the bed and tried to calm down. There really wasn't anything to be so upset over, and his reaction was pathetic. Mood swings were for hormonal women, not him.

Kanda took a deep breath and let it out. As if that cleared his head, he stood and walked out of the door for something to eat. Thankfully, the rabbit was nowhere to disturb the samurai when he finally reached the cafeteria.

"Hey, Kanda! The usual for today?" Jerry asked flamboyantly.

"Just soba," he answered.

"Coming right up," the chef replied.

A few minutes later, Kanda's order was up and he took the tray to an empty table. Half of him expected to see the moyashi walk through any minute and order a long list of foods for Jerry to cook. He wasn't sure why, but he just did. That was enough of an explanation for him after his chaotic mess of thoughts he already had running around inside his head.

As he finished his soba noodles, he choked down his disappointment to have not seen the moyashi anywhere. He went back to his room and grabbed his suitcase before heading down towards the ark. The finder was late, of course. He knew the finder he got stuck with was known for being late.

He leaned back against the wall of the new headquarters and closed his eyes. So many missions would be far too much for anyone but him to handle, and even he was getting a bit tired.

Suddenly, two figures tumbled out of the ark covered in blood and dirt.

Kanda's eyes widened when he realized just who they were.

* * *

Obviously, this will be a Yullen. There might be a side of LaviLena, but only if you want it! I don't know how long I should make it... I'm positive less than ten chapters, but we'll see. Drop me a review, and I'll give you a shout out in the next chapter!


	2. Arrival

Hello. Thank you all so much for reading! I actually got more followers and favorites than I was anticipating. You guys make me so happy! As promised, here are my shoutouts/replies to your reviews.

To **xFullmetalSoulx**: Well, hmm... I guess the best thing to tell you is to wait and see.

To **Thorn the Laughing Willow**: More has been served!

To **ILOVESOULEATERKID**: You are part of the reason I decided to post this early.

To **Ern Estine 13624**: I'm glad you think this is interesting. I've had this plot bunny for a while.

To** Lenore91**: I haven't read anything similar to this, but I didn't really think it was a new idea. You'll see some serious plot coming up in the next chapter that I hope makes the story more original. I guess it's hinted in this chapter, too, but it's very vague.

To **Sydney (Guest)**: I'm glad you already love this fic. It makes me want to update faster when I get reviews like that!

*I don't own DGM. (If I did, there would be more Yullen moments, Lenalee would be more badass, and I wouldn't keep my readers waiting for chapters for months on end.)*

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 2- Arrival

"Help," cried a weak Allen, who was carrying Inspector Howard Link on his back. "Help."

The moyashi didn't seem to even notice Kanda's presence. He stumbled forward and fell before Kanda could reach the two of them. Allen's head hit the floor with a loud thud, and he was out for the count.

As much as Kanda wished to ignore it, he couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. At least he was alive. With a sigh, the samurai hefted up the two limp figures and began to carry them towards the infirmary. He simply couldn't leave them there. With their weight, walking was harder, but he managed. Kanda had ultimately dealt with much worse, but what worried him was that from both of the people he was carrying, blood was spilling out onto his back.

That wasn't a good sign. Clearly the idiots had been injured quite critically and they would most likely be infected from their obvious troubles. It was bad luck for them.

When Kanda was halfway there, he stopped. Neither of them had stopped bleeding, and if they kept it up, they'd bleed out. He set the two down as gently as he could. Based on looks, Link needed his help the most, but the moyashi wasn't faring well, either.

He bit back a curse as he tore off Link's shirt and began to inspect his wound. A deep gash went from his right shoulder to the middle of his stomach.

"Kanda?" the rabbit's voice asked from somewhere ahead of him.

"Dammit, just bandage Allen," he said, then realized he'd called the moyashi by his given name. For a moment, he was embarrassed, but he needed to bandage the annoying inspector. He tore up Link's shirt and began to work on bandaging wounds.

Surprisingly, Lavi didn't comment on Kanda's name drop. He swiftly moved to his side and began to work on the moyashi's wounds. Once Kanda had done the best he could on the inspector, he looked at Allen and Lavi's work.

Allen's face was very pale. Perhaps Kanda's guesswork had been incorrect… Allen's complexion was far worse than that of Link's. When Allen's shirt was removed, he could see more than just a few gashes… he had a couple stabs as well. His innocence tainted hand was very beat up and was bleeding in several places. It seemed likely that he wouldn't be able to activate it for quite some time. Besides that, Allen seemed to have plenty of dark purple bruises all over his exposed skin.

Kanda tried to stifle his worry down. The moyashi wasn't a friend. He was on the verge of becoming the enemy. He shouldn't worry. Despite the words he thought, he knew they were wrong, for the most part. Kanda probably would never see Allen as an enemy. He knew he should be worried. Allen was still his comrade.

Once Lavi had him bandaged as best he could with his old shirt, he plucked up his unconscious friend and placed him carefully over his back. Kanda proceeded to do the same with the inspector and they walked in silence to the infirmary.

…

Kanda decided to just wait in the waiting room for information on the moyashi. He didn't care if Komui got on his ass about it, he was going to wait. Kanda refused to believe that he cared about Allen. He just knew he found a comrade in danger. That's all it was. He was only curious about said comrade's condition.

About an hour passed before a nurse came out with news. "Allen Walker is in critical condition. Howard Link is already awake but rather groggy. He's not yet ready for visitors."

Instead of Kanda asking, Lavi did. "What are the details on Allen's condition?"

"He has seven stabs on the front, four in the back. He has four gashes, three in front, one in back. There seems to be some unknown type of poison coursing through his veins. His innocence arm, which is not in our sphere of knowledge, seems to be broken in one place and fractured in three. He has a deep blow to the head, and he hasn't woken up. That is all we know so far. There is a possibility that he is in a coma."

"Thanks," Lavi answered darkly.

Kanda honestly wasn't too concerned for anything but the poison. He'd seen Allen recover from everything except poison. From the samurai's knowledge, some poisons could be deadly and lethal. Different poisons did different things. What poison did Allen have in him right now?

Dammit. He was in way too deep. He wasn't supposed to care about Allen at all, so why did he have feelings towards him?

Inside, he felt nervous. What if the moyashi didn't recover? How had any of this happened in the first place?

More and more questions plagued his thoughts. Yes, Kanda Yuu was in way too deep, but he did not—could not—bring himself to regret it.

…

"Oh dear," Komui said, taking a look at Allen's pale and battered form. His intentions were to examine the poison in his blood and his innocence arm. When he had walked in, he really hadn't expected the boy to look like this. None of his injuries were healing, either, which clearly wasn't good. His innocence had saved him before… was it now turning against him because he was a Noah?

Komui recalled Allen's first few days at the Order. He missed the peacefulness of those days. He missed the times when Allen Walker wasn't a ticking time bomb. He missed the boy's cheer and never ending courage and bravery. Komui realized he even missed the random spats he had with Kanda. It was such a tragedy to look at Allen and know for a fact he didn't have any time left.

A last little shred of hope burned in his heart that the Noah would still be on their side of things. He longed that the Noah would see sense and let the boy go or partner with him, or maybe that Allen would triumph over the intrusion. Words couldn't describe how badly he wished that Allen's life had been easier. He longed that he had never met Mana Walker, that he could have grown up as a sweet, loving boy without a care in the world.

Even part of him regretted the innocence embedded in the boy's arm. Allen didn't deserve anything that fate delivered to him. A boy of only fifteen years had held the weight of the entire world in his hands. He had dealt with rejection after rejection because of his innocence, then lost the only one he loved. Out of that love, he had created an akuma, then was cursed for it. Later, he found out that the person he had cherished so much may not have even loved him for him, but instead loved him for who he could become. It was wrong. What had Allen done to deserve any of this?

Komui bit back a curse to the world and everything in it. He knew life wasn't made to be fair. He knew that everyone had their own things to deal with. He knew full well that life could never be easy. What he didn't know was that it would be so utterly _cruel_ to such an undeserving young boy who only wanted to help and save others. He also didn't know why it had to be so devastating. As much as he hated the Noah and the Earl, maybe they did have a right to end the world. Taking a look at how tragic it was, that would be a logical reason to end humanity.

At the same time, he knew that it wasn't the humans' fault for it being so ruthless and terrible. He knew that there was still some flicker of hope left out there. He could never completely understand why the Noah wanted to wipe out all of the humans. He only wished there was a way to change the way fate works without destroying everything there was left that was good and pure. What was the Black Order really fighting against? It was obvious that the exorcists could be wiped out whenever the Noah decided to invade. If they brought thousands of akuma, which Komui knew there were that many by now, the Black Order would surely be wiped out in a matter of minutes.

There had to be a reason for them keeping the Order alive and kicking. They clearly were a nuisance to the Earl.

Komui shook his head. He had other matters, and his moment of hatred towards the world had taken up time he didn't have on his hands. The unfortunate boy before him needed his help, and he'd be damned if he didn't do everything in his power to help.

…

"How is he?" a nervous Lavi asked, frantically coming over to Komui.

"The poison in his blood seems to contain crushed innocence," he responded. "This means that the Noah inside Allen won't be able to regenerate his wounds. Also, his own innocence seems to be too damaged for it to keep up with its usual self maintenance. There are other unknown components within his blood, and I have yet to classify those or what they're doing to him. Either way, he's going to be out for quite some time. I have no idea when he'll wake up, but when he does, he'll be in unimaginable pain."

When the depressed Kanda heard Komui's final words, he couldn't fully register them. Allen would be in unimaginable pain? Just what had happened to him, exactly?

His usually calm mind began to frantically think of plenty of unpleasant and disturbing scenarios that he would generally classify as nightmares. Too bad they didn't stay in his dreams.

With a feeling of frustration, Kanda abruptly stood and said, "Tch, I have a mission to get back to."

He turned on his heels, leaving a rather surprised Lavi and Komui behind him as he slammed the door open.

Since all of his emotions were flung across the map, it was hard for him to make sense of them. One moment, it was worry, the next anger, then sadness, then it would jumble up again and start a new pattern. For such a simple man, the emotions were almost suffocating. He normally couldn't give a damn about anything, and there he was, standing like a fool thinking about his _emotions_. Kanda didn't need emotions. They had no right to be plaguing the exorcist as they were. They never bothered him until now.

Damn Allen Walker for screwing with him like this. Unintentionally or not, he was to blame.

The entire walk back to where the samurai had originally found the exorcist and inspector had been in fury. When he arrived, he saw all the stains of blood and instantly reverted back to worry. He wanted to go back and see if anything had changed, though he knew that nothing could have changed in the two, three minutes he was gone.

The finder was there. "Someone finally made it," the female said.

"Tch, I was here before you. Had you been on time, I wouldn't have been late."

Her eyes went wide. "What happened? I noticed the blood…"

"Damned missing moyashi shows up covered in blood and passes out with the inspector on his back," Kanda replied, obviously annoyed with the female finder.

"Moyashi? You mean Allen Walker? Is he okay?" she asked a bit frantically.

Kanda knew that almost all the females in the Black Order had a crush on Allen, but every time some girl tried to come at him or expressed worry for him, Kanda had to resist the urge to pull out Mugen to shut them up.

"Tch, why would I care?"

_Yes, why should I care about him?_ Kanda thought in silence.

"Damn you. You don't even care about your youngest comrade? I've heard you're a total jackass, I didn't expect you to be such a heartless bastard."

The words caught him off guard. He didn't particularly care about what others thought, but he never would have expected a female to have the nerve to dare say that to his face when his hand was already on Mugen, itching to slice through something.

"I don't care about what people have to think," he said, trying to stifle the rising anger. "If you want to stay, be my guest. I have a mission to start."

With those final words, Kanda walked through the ark and prepared for his mission.

* * *

I just want to give you guys a heads-up about this... I'll be going on a camping trip for the fourth of July on Wednesday, so expect a new chapter on Sunday. (In other words, a week.) Sorry for the longer wait! If there's enough demand, I guess I could post a Yullen oneshot that takes place in modern day AU before I leave... It would be rated M.

Oh, one last thing... **I take requests for stories via PM.**

If you** review**, I will give you another shoutout!


	3. Anguish

Wow, I'm speechless. I have 21 followers! I wasn't expecting such a great reception. Thank you all so much! Sorry for the longer wait on this one.

To **Yullen3**: Well, you'll have to wait and see. I'm not giving spoilers for the chapter!

To **xFullmetalSoulx**: Sorry for not posting the oneshot. I planned on it, but then things got busy. I'll post it sometime soon, though.

To **Ern Estine 13624**: I'm glad you're excited for this chapter!

To **AllenMoyashiWalker**: I am very flattered by your words! I actually think it's tricky to catch Kanda's emotions... that's why I love writing Yullen through his view. It's a lovely challenge.

To **Gallifreyan Annihilator**: First off, I want you to understand I'm not harping on Hoshino! I love her to death, it's just I wish there was more of a usual schedule for updates. I never know when they'll happen. It's so unpredictable! I totally understand she's not in the best health, and that should be her focus. Sorry if my comment was offensive, I didn't mean to come off that way. Thanks for your long review, it made my day. I'm glad you think my writing is great! When I wrote Komui's segment, I was wondering how people would respond. Thanks for mentioning that!

To **roseahal**: I'm glad you agree. I figured if anyone would feel a lot of hatred for Allen's predicament, it would be Komui. I couldn't imagine being in Komui's shoes sometimes, only because he's literally only able to support the exorcists. It would be hard not being able to fight alongside them.

Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are great.

*I don't own DGM, and never will. I'm content with fanfiction!*

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 3- Anguish

Right before Kanda and the annoying female finder were prepared to exit the ark, Kanda's golem went off. He got a message from Komui to return immediately, and Noise Marie would go in his place. The scientist apparently had other things for Kanda to do at the Black Order. _One of these days, I'm going to kill him._ With a heavy sigh, he turned around and headed back to headquarters.

He found his feet moving faster than usual, taking him not to Komui's office, but back to the Infirmary. As much as he hated to admit it, Allen really meant something to him, and he was concerned for him. That thought sounded ridiculous. He could only imagine how it would sound if he actually voiced it.

When he reached the infirmary, he didn't see the annoying rabbit, so he was pleased with that. He didn't bother tracking down a nurse to see Allen. All Kanda did was go to the one of two lit rooms. On the door before him, it read Allen's name.

Hesitantly, he opened the door, slightly nervous at what he'd see. He cursed the feelings of nervousness and stepped in without another thought. Kanda's cobalt eyes widened at the sight before him.

The young British beansprout was paler than ever. His skin looked like wet chalk to concrete, and the blood soaked bandages covering his entire body looked violently red in contrast to the paleness of his skin. There were dark purple bruises on random places on his skin. Kanda couldn't even imagine how the hell the moyashi could get that beat up.

As tough as Kanda was on him, he secretly admired the beansprout's abilities in combat. Whoever he took on, he beat. In this case, it seemed as though Allen were the loser. As a result, he only wondered more what the hell happened to him to make him look so… frail and weak, like a glass about to shatter at the slightest touch.

Kanda briskly walked to the seat next to Allen's bed. The damp, cold room was uninviting and he figured the beansprout would be better off in his own room than this place, but made no attempts to move him. After getting his close look at the extent of Allen's injuries, he knew there was no moving him for a long time.

He decided to sit there and watch the moyashi sleep. No words were spoken. Kanda wasn't one to waste on talking to someone who wouldn't respond. Even if the moyashi were awake, words weren't Kanda's forte. Over most anything, he preferred silence. The most important things did not need to be said.

So he sat in the dreary, menacing room until a thought occurred to him. Ever so slightly, he bit his lower lip as he pondered whether or not he wanted to execute the thought.

After a significant amount of time passed, he made his decision. He abruptly stood and searched for a syringe. After all, he was in an infirmary, surely they had to have one somewhere. Once he was just about to leave the room, he saw one in the back of the bottom drawer next to Allen's bed. Without any more hesitation, his hands swiftly picked it up.

His nimble fingers wasted no time in removing his Exorcist jacket and placing his belt on his arm. He pulled it taught and stabbed the syringe into his arm. It didn't take long for the rich scarlet liquid to quickly fill up the syringe. Once that was done, he removed it from his arm and searched for a place to inject it into Allen.

As little as the needle was, he knew if he just injected it, the puncture wound would close immediately and heal completely within a few seconds. Once his bright blood was injected into Allen's, he could almost instantaneously see a difference. For one, the little puncture wound where the needle went healed completely as he expected. His bruises looked a little less dark, a light blush came across his face, as if he were just now able to get his blood circulating. Minor cuts healed before his eyes. The once unsteady breathing of Allen became steady and not as wheezy. His facial features, Kanda realized, were more relaxed now, almost like he was asleep.

With a sigh, he stood feeling a little better with himself. It was only a matter of time before he made sense out of his chaotic feelings. Perhaps that time was coming soon…

…

The next day, Kanda was anxious to hear news of Allen. He was trying to decide whether or not he should go and visit Allen or go to train like he usually did.

"Yo, Yuu…" an oh-so-familiar voice called out cheerfully when he stepped out of his room for his morning training.

"Don't call me that!" was the sharp reply that slipped out of his mouth without much thought. "Do you want to die?" With one fluid motion, Mugen was out of its sheathe and touching the baka usagi's throat.

A yelp of surprise escaped Lavi's lips. "Jeez, Yuu… why are you in such a bad mood?" he asked a moment after he calmed down.

"Tch," Kanda replied more out of habit than anything else. "None of your business." He swiftly sheathed Mugen and looked at the nuisance. "Is there something you needed? I don't have time for a baka usagi like you."

"Where were you last night? The entire Order was on the verge of freaking out. Some people thought you left on the mission even after Komui told you not to…"

"Tch, I don't have time for this," Kanda said sharply before turning towards the training rooms. Much to his annoyance, Lavi followed.

"There's good news about Allen," Lavi said from behind. Kanda's ears perked up a bit, but he kept his face stoic to hide his curiosity and happiness. "Komui said he's not sure what happened. The poison that was inside his veins is somehow diluted now. His own innocence started to heal. They say he might even wake up today."

"Why should I care?" Kanda asked, continuing to walk where he wanted to go.

"But you do, don't you?" the annoying rabbit asked.

At that, he turned around sharply and grabbed his collar. "Leave me the hell alone! Can't I train in peace?" Kanda let go of Lavi's collar and turned around again, fuming in the sudden anger that engulfed him.

"You didn't answer the question, Yuu."

"Don't call me that!" Kanda yelled, unsheathing Mugen once more. This time, he sliced off a bit of Lavi's hair on purpose. The rabbit raised his hands in defeat before mumbling something Kanda couldn't hear. "What was that, baka usagi?"

He had fear in his eyes for a moment before amusement took their place. "I said that I'll take your response as a yes."

At this point, Kanda's rage was clearly visible. "Leave. Me. Alone. _Now!_" he yelled, swiping at the stupid rabbit with Mugen.

"Okay, okay!" Lavi cried as he dodged attacks from the angry samurai. As quick as he could, he was out of Kanda's sight, probably for the better of the both of them. With Kanda being alone, he could think clearer.

Once he found his destination, he sat down on the floor immediately and closed his eyes for meditation.

He tried using his usual techniques, but none of them seemed to be working. All he could focus on was that damned moyashi he hated so much. With a frustrated sigh, he stood up and tried his usual work out. Even that didn't help him one bit. Normally, he could let out all his frustration, anger, and any other bottled up emotion when he was in the training room. But no. That just wasn't happening today.

Kanda hesitantly put on his exorcist jacket before leaving the training room nobody else dared to enter. As he once again wandered the halls of the vast Black Order, he couldn't help but notice how strange he had been the past few days. He hoped that stupid rabbit wouldn't notice, but knowing him, he most definitely would, if not for any other reason than to annoy him further.

With those annoying thoughts stuck in his head, he continued walking until he arrived at his desired location. A nurse walked up to him, thankfully not the head nurse, and said, "Hello, Mr. Kanda. What are you doing here?" she said with a smile.

"Tch, I'm here to see the moyashi."

"Moyashi? Oh, you mean Allen? He's right this way!" the woman chirped before leading him to Allen's room.

"Normally, the head nurse only allows one visitor, so you can wait outside the room until Miss Lee is done visiting him, okay?"

The nurse just walked away, leaving him standing in front of the door. He decided to ignore the damn rule for him to have to wait and walked down the hall to Allen's room.

A startled Chinese girl shrieked upon his entry. "Oh… Kanda. What are you doing in here?" she asked. She was holding Allen's hand securely in her own with a few tears streaming down her cheeks. Her usually well-kept hair was awry, and it was obvious that she was a wreck. Dark bags under her eyes told the temperamental samurai that she hadn't slept the night before.

"Tch, I came to give you a break. I'll stay with the moyashi for you," Kanda offered, though he was doing it more for selfish reasons than selfless reasons.

"Kanda… just talk to him. I know you don't think things like that work, but if I were in his shoes, I'd only want to wake up if there were people who wanted me back." She stood slowly and wiped her remaining tears with the back of her hand. To Allen, she murmured softly, "I'm going to go now. I'm so sorry this happened to you, Allen. Kanda's going to take over now. I think he'll be surprisingly pleasant to you."

Lenalee smiled tentatively at her friend before walking past him.

Suddenly, Kanda felt incredibly out of place. He didn't have the slightest clue what to do, or even what to say. Lenalee managed to make it looks so effortless, so natural to talk to someone who wouldn't respond.

Hesitantly, he took a seat next to the unconscious silver haired teen. Slowly, ever so slowly, his hand crept up the bed until it met the moyashi's. "Allen," Kanda whispered, unsure of how to handle the new and strange emotion that bloomed in his chest. The taste of Allen's name on his tongue was also new and strange, but not unpleasant. Quite the opposite, actually. "You better get better, baka moyashi. You've got people who want you back. If you tell anyone, I'll slice you in two, but… so do I."

That thought suspended in the air. Kanda vaguely wondered if Allen really could even hear him. Given his… unusual body, Kanda never really had the experience of being in a coma. There were no downsides to having a body like his. He never got sick, and any wounds he received generally healed within a few days.

The blood he'd given Allen the other day obviously made a difference, but not a big enough one for him to wake up.

Kanda pondered giving another syringe of his blood to him before the door opened. In walked Komui, the crazy scientist Kanda loathed.

"Oh, Kanda? I'm a bit surprised to see you here, but I did have some questions for you."

The samurai just glared at the Chinese man, clearly not wanting to be within proximity of him, let alone answering his questions. Komui pushed up his glasses before taking a seat on the corner of Allen's hospital bed. Komui had been dealing with the irritable Japanese for a very long time now and was used to his sour attitude. "Did you give some of your blood to Allen yesterday?" he asked seriously.

Komui generally wasn't one to be so serious. Kanda knew that if he didn't give an answer, he'd have to deal with Komui annoying him to death, so he internally rolled his eyes and said, "Yes. What the hell does it matter to you?"

The long haired Chinese man responded, "It has a lot to do with Allen's health and safety. Not to mention, his recovery. What you did was a very selfless act. You helped him a lot, but even then, he's still not faring well."

"So what are you saying?" Kanda asked quietly.

"If it's not too much to ask… could you give some more of your blood? I think he'd only need about two more doses. Probably not even as much as you gave last time, though I don't know how much you gave…"

"Tch, I'll think about it. But if I do, I'll give them to him on my own."

"Kanda… you're doing a really great thing. I know you don't really like Allen, but it's nice to see that you are there for your comrades."

Why did everyone assume Kanda didn't like Allen? Sure, Kanda hated the kid. But to him, that didn't mean he didn't _like_ him. You can hate and like somebody, right? It wasn't that complicated. He didn't give a damn if the world didn't agree to his logic. The world wasn't him.

"I don't care if I'm doing a great thing," he grumbled while crossing his arms. "Now get out. I'll give him the damn blood, but not with you watching."

Komui smirked a little as he rose from the bed. He glanced sideways at Kanda before leaving the empty little hospital room.

Kanda felt relieved when Komui was out of his sight. He wanted to keep his blood giving a secret, and the stupid scientist put it together so quickly, it unnerved him. To be honest, Kanda had no idea why he felt the need to keep that to himself, maybe it was because he didn't know what Allen would think if he found out.

All the days for the past month and a half, he wondered about the silver haired boy, mostly his safety. Now that he was lying there before him so helplessly, finally in safe hands, Kanda only worried of what he'd think.

God, he wanted to scold himself for letting anyone on the planet have such control over him. What was the emotion he felt now towards the sprout? Before, it was easy enough to identify it as worry. Now what was it? It was strange, he hadn't felt like that before. Part of him wanted Allen to wake up as he was there, but part of him didn't want to be anywhere near an awake and coherent Allen.

He repeated his process of last night, this time, though, he felt uncomfortable as he watched it work on the younger teen. Allen looked more like he was sleeping now. There were still bandages, but Kanda knew that underneath them, wounds were healing.

Suddenly, silver eyes snapped open without any warning. The teen began to thrash around, panicking, scared shitless. His breaths were pants and his eyes were unfocused, as if they were seeing something else.

Kanda instinctively bent down and held his arms to the bed. "Moyashi! Moyashi, stop it!"

Slowly, Allen's eyes came back to the present and settled on Kanda's cobalt blue ones. His breathing calmed down, but he was shaking worse than a leaf in the wind.

"Ka-Kanda?" Allen asked, still looking unsettled.

Their faces were separated by mere inches, and Kanda could feel every one of Allen's breaths on his face. He was close enough to see every etched detail of the bruised silver haired teen's pale face. The thing he could see the most, though, were those silvery gray anguished eyes. At seeing the pain so close, Kanda felt a burn in his heart, and immediately moved his head back.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, baka." He released his grip on the beansprout's arms, then effectively leaned back to put plenty of space between them.

"What happened? Where's Link? Is he alright?" Allen asked, clearly under stress and still not completely coherent.

"He's fine. He's in another room. You should be more concerned with yourself, you know. You were far worse than he was," Kanda answered darkly. He pinned what the burning sensation was. It wasn't regular sadness. It was sorrow and pain at seeing Allen so fragile, so hurt.

"I have every reason to be concerned for Link! They… they…" Allen stuttered, unable to continue his sentence out of fear.

"They what?" Kanda asked, his hand tensing towards Mugen. He needed to slice something, and he needed to make whoever they were pay for what they did. He knew it had to be the damned Noah, they were the only plausible group of people who would do such a thing.

"They took him, they beat him in front of me… they… they killed Samson, the finder…" Allen said, sitting up to cradle his body.

"Why?"

"They wanted the fourteenth…"

Of course. Kanda realized just now why they would do that, and he internally punched himself.

"I'll slaughter every last one of those damned Noah," Kanda spat furiously. Every bone in his body wanted to make them suffer.

"Kanda…" Allen said so soft, he wasn't sure he heard it. "It wasn't the Noah."

* * *

So there was the plot development that I promised. xD If you drop a review, I promise I'll reply. I love hearing what you have to say!


	4. Change

Hey everyone! I rushed this chapter because I was running on crazy inspiration from your reviews. I was surprised that I went from 21 followers to 27, and on the previous chapter alone, 8 reviews! You guys are all amazing.

Oh, and before I respond to your reviews, I want to say that I'm eventually going to post a rated M Yullen oneshot called Mystic Masquerade, so lookout for that!

**sunshineandmoonlight**: Maybe. :3 Wait and see, my friend.

**Mad Hatter Usagi**: I am notorious for cliff hangers... sorry! I can't help it. And of course I can't spill the beans on who took Allen. One more thing... THANK YOU! Thank you so much for telling me that this is realistic! I try my best to make it seem canon.

**Ern Estine 13624**: More is here. xD

**xFullmetalSoulx**: Thanks for the compliment! I updated this quicker than even I thought, so I guess you got your wish! :)

**silvereyes 120**: Yullen is my all-time favorite DGM couple. I'm glad you're starting to like it because of this story!

**SnarkyWolf**: Thanks for taking the time to read so far! It makes me happy.

**AllenMoyashiWalker**: I hope it continues on getting better with plot. :3

**negimarules52**: I'm doing my best for this story! I'm so happy you're enjoying this. I am too!

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter Four- Change

"What did you say?" Kanda asked, stunned at what Allen said.

A sharp knock echoed in the hospital room, interrupting whatever Allen was about to say. Without a pause after the knocking ceased, the door opened, revealing Leverrier. "Walker, it's time for you to be questioned."

Allen practically cowered down in his bed. Leverrier grabbed Allen's wrist harshly. Now that there was a reason to look at his wrists, Kanda realized they looked like they had been restrained. That could be the only explanation for the raw, still bloody rings all around them. If they hadn't healed by now, how badly had they been injured?

"Let go of him," Kanda said in a low tone.

"He needs to be interrogated," Leverrier said with an authoritative tone, like it was a final decision and there would be no arguing the matter.

"I said _let go of him_." The threat in Kanda's voice was obvious now, and he wasn't taking no as an answer, either. He grabbed Leverrier's own wrist and squeezed it tightly, possibly cutting off circulation. A stare down ensued, which ended up being a battle of wills between the two men. Allen just looked up at them with wide eyes that betrayed his panic.

At last, Leverrier blinked and let go of Allen's wrist. "Walker, I'll be back." He left with one menacing stare left at the snow haired boy before slamming the door on his way out.

"Thank you, Kanda," Allen said as he gently held his aching wrist. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I'm fine."

"Moyashi, you are not fucking _fine_. Tell me what the hell happened to you to make you so shook up," Kanda said, directing his intense gaze to the now calm teenager.

"I was tortured, Kanda. Do you want me to get into every little detail of what happened to me? Last I checked you didn't give a damn about me…" Allen murmured softly, obviously lacking a fighting spirit.

"I never said that," Kanda replied sharply. "I don't know what I feel for you, moyashi, but I do _care_. I have no idea why, so shut up and answer my questions. Who took you?" Kanda's face had drawn closer to the younger teen's, but he didn't realize when that happened.

"I don't know who they were. They weren't the Noah, I'm sure of it. These guys, they were like ghosts. They wore masks and black capes with hoods. Some of them… some of them had innocence, Kanda. They knew who I was, and they said that the Black Order didn't deserve my presence…" Allen said, finally getting back to his usual annoying beansprout ways.

Kanda's eyes narrowed at the information he was given. Internally, Kanda agreed with Allen. It was not the Noah. If it wasn't the Noah, though, who else could it have been?

"Um… Kanda?" Allen asked, looking to the samurai with uneasiness.

"What?" he growled in response.

"What are you doing here?" The question was genuine, like Allen really wanted to know.

"Tch, I don't know." Why did it pain Kanda so much to hear Allen ask him why he was there? Kanda couldn't really be sad that the moyashi thought he didn't care, could he?

Before the white haired teen could reply, the door opened again. "Oh, hey, Allen!" Lavi said as he entered the room. "Yuu's here too!"

Kanda _so_ did not need the overactive rabbit in his presence at that time. He was out of patience from the confrontation with Leverrier, so he didn't trust himself to stay there much longer. "Don't call me that, you damned rabbit!" he shouted before sharply turning on his heels and slamming the door on his way out.

"What was that about?" Lavi asked, making his way to sit next to Allen's bed.

"I have no idea, Lavi. Kanda has been acting weird since I woke up… I wonder why…" Allen said as he winced at a sudden sharp pain in his lower back.

"Whoa, take it easy, okay? You were hurt pretty bad," Lavi said, gently helping Allen lean back onto the bed.

"Kanda didn't give me much information on Link. How is he doing?" the younger teen asked hesitantly, like he feared the results.

"He is going to be let out in a few days. All of his cuts and gashes were pretty minor. They looked a lot worse than they were. Everyone was more scared for you, actually." Lavi's emerald gaze drifted over the bruises and bloody bandages that covered his comrade's body, and he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. It looked incredibly painful.

"What… what were my wounds?" Allen asked, taking a look at himself, too.

"Well, you had a lot of deep cuts and stuff. You were in a coma, but… I guess not. You've only been here for two days. Komui said there was poison in your veins that contained crushed innocence, so that the Noah in you couldn't heal."

The air was heavy as Allen let that sink in. He vaguely remembered someone injecting him with a greenish liquid, and as it raced up his veins, he remembered a burning pain, like someone shot burning magma into his body.

There were times where he remembered losing control to the Fourteenth. Those were the less painful times, only because he didn't need to feel, he didn't need to do anything. They were nice, but it left him to his thoughts alone. He couldn't stand the idea of fighting against his comrades, possibly killing them, so he fought against the invasion in his head, even if it gave him unbearable pain. Whenever he returned, those people would punish him in some way, coaxing Allen to let go and give everything to the Fourteenth.

"Hey, are you okay?" Lavi asked, setting his concerned gaze on the frail boy.

"Uh… yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I'm just not awake enough yet," Allen said. Even if it had started as a lie, he realized it was actually very truthful. When he woke up, panic kept him awake, but now that he knew he was safe, his eyes were starting to get heavier and heavier.

The redhead next to him chuckled softly. "Allen, it's great to see that you're awake. I can tell you're exhausted, so get some sleep."

Allen nodded sleepily before letting his eyes slip closed.

…

Kanda took a deep breath to calm down before he went to the cafeteria. With his pent up frustration, he had been lashing out at any small annoyance. He felt like he was drowning in his uncontrollable emotions. With every fiber of his being, he tried to ignore them, but he was losing the battle. After he ordered his soba, he decided to try and focus his thoughts on the people who took Allen. If he could figure out who they were, he could fix all his anger and emotions on that.

If they wore masks and capes, they were not the Noah. Especially if some of them were accommodators of innocence… If it really had been the Noah, they would have made that obvious. Allen could recognize some of them, too, so it couldn't have been them. Could they have hired people?

As soon as the thought came across his head, he tossed it. The Noah loved to see their torture up close and personal. They were flashy and bloodthirsty. If they were going to take Allen, they would have sent a taunting message saying, "We have the Fourteenth, exorcists!"

Allen was right; it wasn't the Noah clan. Who else could it be?

He pondered that as he finished off his soba. Could it be Central? It would explain Leverrier's frantic rush to have Allen interrogated.

Kanda walked back towards his room, thankful for not running into anybody who wanted to talk to him. He was just one comment away from slicing something in two. His emotions were still completely boiling inside, and the samurai was clueless as to how to get them to cool off and go away. Damn Allen Walker. Just _damn_ him. What had the bean sprout done to get so deeply under his skin?

With a loud sigh, Kanda relaxed on his bed and pulled his hair tie out. Gently massaging the hair loose, he closed his eyes. He hadn't realized it, but exhaustion was slowly taking over his body. Slowly, he drifted off, letting dreams take over.

When he awoke the next day, he found that his body was still tired. It was added to the lengthy list of things that annoyed Kanda. Regardless of the fatigue he felt, he stood and stretched his arms, enjoying the feel of his muscles waking.

Quickly, he got dressed and tied his hair up. If he was fast enough, he could deliver the final dose of blood to Allen before he woke up. He didn't know what he'd do if Allen woke while he was giving it, but he hoped he wouldn't have to deal with that.

While walking to the infirmary, the samurai felt more at ease than he had in a while with his emotions. He wasn't sure why he was calm all of a sudden, especially with the restless sleep he had the night before, but he went with it, thankful for the relaxation.

It was rather early, so there was nobody wandering the halls of the Order. When he reached the infirmary, he didn't see anyone around, so he walked to Allen's room. The light was on, so Kanda stopped cold before entering. Carefully, he pressed his ear to the door.

From inside, he could hear something soft, something very quiet. It sounded like someone was shuffling cards.

Kanda pondered whether or not he should go in there. The moyashi didn't seem to be in pain, but he did seem very much awake. Suddenly, another noise started up. It was singing, soft singing, and Kanda recognized it as the song to the ark.

Silently, he stood there, listening to the sprout's singing, and he found it quite beautiful, actually. The soft singing from the teen sounded so warm and comforting. Kanda closed his eyes and rested his head against the door, allowing himself to relax and just listen. The song caused the samurai to lose himself a little in the sheer beauty and gentleness of it. As the melody continued, Kanda felt very serene and peaceful for the first time in years.

When the song concluded, Kanda realized he wanted to hear it again, but couldn't find it in himself to open the door and request it. For some reason, he felt as if the door between them was the opening to something entirely new, and maybe something he wasn't prepared for. Quietly as he could, he went back the way he came, opting to return while the moyashi was asleep. It would be safer, more comfortable.

His feet took him to the training room he usually frequented. This time, he could focus on meditation and his usual routine. Nobody dared even set foot anywhere near here, not even the stupid rabbit, so this was the only place he could truly relax and enjoy the peaceful silence.

Hours went by before Kanda realized he'd skipped breakfast, and for that matter, lunch. His stomach growled as he sheathed his sword. The dining hall seemed absolutely perfect at that time. It was probably going to be rather empty since it was too early for dinner and too late for lunch, so it was perfect enough for him.

Kanda left the training room quickly, not wanting to waste time there any longer. Today was a very calm day compared to the days he had while Allen was missing. He was actually enjoying the day, something he rarely did.

After eating his usual meal, he went back towards the infirmary, slightly surprised he hadn't run into Lenalee or Lavi. Perhaps one or both of them had been sent out on a mission. This time, the nurse he saw the day before was there again, and just told him to go in.

Allen was laying there peacefully sleeping. He looked so much better than the last few times Kanda had seen him. The snow haired teen looked like he'd taken a shower. His skin looked fresh and his hair had been cleaned from the stains of blood from his head injury. Fewer bandages coated his body, and none of them were soaked with his blood. His innocence arm, though in a sling, didn't appear to be in terrible shape. A sigh of relief slipped past the samurai's mouth. Kanda hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath until after his inspection.

Without any more hesitation, he opened the drawer that held the syringe. He took it out and wasted no time in removing his blood. This time, Kanda had to look for a spot to poke the needle without waking up the sprout.

Pursing his lips, he glanced at some of the wounds. He decided it was useless, the boy would feel the needle no matter where it entered his body. Kanda gently moved Allen's regular arm closer to him before pushing the needle through his ivory skin.

Allen winced in his sleep before stirring. When his eyes fluttered open, Kanda was already removing the needle.

A whimper of pain escaped the younger teen as he gingerly grabbed his arm. "Kanda… what are you doing?" he asked.

"Nothing," he answered a little too quickly.

"What did you inject me with?" Allen asked stubbornly.

With an annoyed sigh, Kanda turned away. "My blood, baka moyashi."

"It's Allen, BaKanda," he replied out of habit. "And why would you give me your blood?"

"Can't you feel it healing you?" Kanda asked as he moved away from the bed, heading towards the door.

"Wait! Please, don't go…" Allen pleaded. The raven haired samurai turned around with a raised eyebrow. "I… I hate being alone here. It reminds me…" he trailed off sadly.

"Of what?" Kanda asked, finding himself wanting to know more.

"It reminds me of the place they kept me. It was in a room sort of like this, but I wasn't in a hospital bed. I was tied to a chair—wait, you wouldn't care to hear about that. It doesn't really matter, anyway." The younger teen stared up at the ceiling. "You can go if you want."

Kanda didn't say anything, but he did move to the chair next to the bed. "I'll listen," he said gruffly, wondering why he still felt the need to be around the sprout even if he was almost fully healed.

"Thanks, Kanda, but really… you probably have somewhere better to be than here," Allen said with his signature fake smile nobody but Kanda seemed to see right through.

"No. I don't. Do whatever you want, I'm staying," he said stubbornly, hating Allen's faux gentleman act. It always drove him crazy because it was just so fake. Allen wanted him there, and he was just beating around the bush.

Silence unfolded between them, and Kanda could feel the snow haired boy's gaze on him. "Thank you," Allen said quietly. "You're the only one who doesn't pressure me."

Kanda looked at him with slightly wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

"Everyone means well, they really do, but… they all unintentionally pressure me into reassuring them that I'm okay. You don't care either way," Allen said with a bit of sadness.

"Baka moyashi, I al—"

"It's Allen," the younger of them interrupted.

"—I already told you that I _do_ care. So just tell me whatever's bothering you. I'll listen."

Allen looked at his innocence arm and stayed silent. He looked like he was debating on saying anything or not. "I was tied up tightly with rope. My hands were behind my back, and I couldn't even feel my hands or feet. The one time I activated my innocence, they injected the poison into my arm. It felt like something was turning my insides into fire. After that, they tried to do whatever they could to get the Fourteenth…" he said, shaking slightly, but in his eyes, there was no fear. It was anger. "The first time he took over... I was scared, but I fought him. When I finally regained control, they punished me by beating Link and Samson. Every time I got back to normal, they did something worse each time. Eventually, they killed the finder… and my beatings got worse."

Kanda let those words sink in. He hated whoever these people were, only because now he _knew_ that they succeeded in getting the Noah out of Allen's head. Suddenly, a panic built inside him. What if Allen hadn't returned at all? The Fourteenth wearing Allen's skin would have been the one to come back, only he would be their enemy. Trying to imagine that made his heart race for reasons he wasn't sure he knew. Kanda took deeper breaths and fisted his hands. "How did you escape?" Kanda asked with forced calmness.

"I… well, that was because… well, I shouldn't…" Allen said, now suddenly nervous.

"What is it?" Kanda asked, unable to control his anger, though it was not directed at Allen.

"If I told you, would you swear to keep it a secret?" the white haired boy asked seriously, meeting Kanda with an intense gaze.

"Just tell me," Kanda said, which for him was the closest Allen would ever get.

"It was the Noah clan. I don't know if it was intentional or not, but they were fighting my captors… maybe they were trying to steal me for themselves, but during the chaos, I managed to drag Link away and get to safety. When I got to the ark, I opened the door to the Black Order. I don't remember anything after that."

Kanda stared off into space, recalling what he saw after Allen tumbled from the ark. The memory was vivid and burned into his mind. There would be no forgetting, he knew. Something had changed when he saw him lying there. Kanda couldn't pinpoint _what_ had changed, but he knew something did.

"Kanda," Allen said quietly.

"What?"

"Thanks for listening to me. I don't know why you're being so nice to me all of a sudden, but it's nice to know that you do have a heart."

"Tch, I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered," Kanda said, feeling more comfortable in the room now, with their bickering atmosphere surrounding them again.

"You should be flattered, BaKanda," Allen said with a smirk. He was also much more comfortable. "It isn't every day that I give you a _compliment_."

"I don't need compliments from a baka moyashi like you," Kanda sharply replied back, but he also smirked.

"Then I won't give any anymore," the younger replied back. "Besides, it's not like you deserve them."

"Tch, I deserve them. I just don't care to hear them," Kanda retorted. "I deserve them more than you do."

"With that thick skull of yours, I bet you don't hear them at all," Allen snickered.

"Like you'd even get a compliment," the samurai responded. "Let alone from me."

"That's only because you're an idiot who enjoys being rude to everyone!"

"You're just—"

He was cut off by the door opening. "Visiting hours are over! You two are too loud," the nurse said as she stepped in. "You're lucky the head nurse has been out on vacation, or else she'd put you," she jabbed a finger in Kanda's direction, "in the infirmary, too."

"Tch, fine, I'll go. Night, moyashi," Kanda said while standing up quickly and glancing at the teen from the corner of his eyes.

"It's Allen, BaKanda!" he said as the samurai walked out of the room.

With a sense of comfort, Allen figured he would be able to sleep much better than he had since he'd first woken up. He vaguely wondered if it had anything to do with Kanda before his mind slipped into a calm dreamless sleep.

* * *

I hope everyone enjoyed the chapter. :) Prove it to me by reviewing! I love everything you have to say, and it's always nice to get feedback!


	5. Revelation

Hey there. So, I'm going to come right out and say that I don't know what to make of this chapter. (That's why this took longer to update.) I don't know if I love it or hate it. I just know that I've been struggling with this one. I love the chapter up until the end, I guess. I don't know.

One important thing: **THIS TAKES PLACE AFTER CROSS DIED.** I just want to point that out since I realized that it wasn't mentioned before hand. Thanks _xFullmetalSoulx_ who asked me about that.

**Mad Hatter Usagi:** The Fourteenth will have a pretty major part in this story, so you'll have to wait and see if he's good or bad. And it's good to know that the new group is creepy to you, because that's what I was going for.

**AllenMoyashiWalker: **I'm glad this is fresh. I feel like more people should explore the mysterious "third side" that's been mentioned for a while now.

**Luckywish26: **Allen and Kanda are getting closer. I have no idea when it will finally happen, but sometime soonish. I'm just trying to drag it out because I feel like it's more realistic if I do.

**Katie2000:** I fully intend to see this story to the end, wherever that may be. So don't worry!

**jasdevi's secret sissy:** At first, I was thinking, "What? Allen didn't guilt trip Kanda!" Then I reread my chapter and realized he totally did. I guess I miss things even in my own writing! xD

**xFullmetalSoulx:** My favorite part of the last chapter was when Kanda stood outside Allen's room listening to his singing. I enjoyed writing that part so much!

**Snarky Wolf:** Lol, I didn't realize how similar the new group was to the death eaters until you pointed that out. I laughed so hard! Anyway, I absolutely love the Noahs. I kind of hate Central... they are so annoying! Even I root for the Noahs sometimes, too. I want to believe that they aren't completely evil!

**AliceXxX:** I updated as soon as I gave up my internal struggle. xD

THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS!

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 5- Revelation

The next day, Allen woke feeling calm and relaxed. The sleep he had from the night before was the most restful sleep he had in nearly two months. Slowly, the teen stretched both of his arms up. They were both stiff and sore, but not like how they should have been. The pain he felt was dull and he couldn't feel most of the beatings he'd been given at all.

It didn't take long for Allen's mind to trail off towards the antisocial samurai. He wondered why Kanda gave him his blood… Yes, Kanda said he cared, but that still didn't explain _why_. No matter how hard Allen tried, he couldn't picture Kanda giving his blood to Lavi, or even Lenalee. If the samurai cared for Allen, whom he claimed to hate, then surely, he'd care for his other comrades, too.

Inside his heart, he felt overjoyed that Kanda said that he cared. As to why he felt that way, he was at a loss. Allen knew that Kanda would probably revert back to being the jerk the young teen had come to know. Perhaps the Japanese teen was just in an oddly good mood…

Allen couldn't help but feel crestfallen. Somehow, he didn't think he could take it anymore if Kanda pushed him away now that he was closer. Their bickering the other day didn't quite feel like it used to. Something changed. It felt more like something they were teasing each other, something only friends did.

Pursing his lips, he pondered if Kanda thought of him as a friend. Somehow, that was wrong and right at the same time.

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing Allen's least favorite person involved with the Black Order. "Walker, time for your interrogation," he said, gazing intensely at his eyes. Allen looked away but nodded and stood without saying a single word.

Leverrier looked at his body, probably thinking it was suspicious that it was already healed. Quickly, Allen snatched up his robe and securely tied it around his waist. He put on the infirmary's slippers and followed the menacing man outside of his room.

…

"Where were you?" a CROW asked monotonously.

"I don't know… it was a hospital-like setting… maybe. It was dark most of the time I was there, I couldn't see much," Allen answered sheepishly, fiddling with his wrists.

"What did they want from you?" he asked.

"The Fourteenth Noah," the snow haired teen replied automatically.

"Describe the people you saw there," the older man asked, writing something down in his notebook.

"They wore silver masks and had long, black capes. They wore black gloves, uh… dark clothes, I guess. They had people who were accommodators and they attacked me, but they wore the same clothes," Allen replied, wincing at the painful memory.

"They had accommodators?" the man asked, raising an eyebrow.

The younger of them nodded and said, "Yes. They did."

"Were there any markings on their clothes? Anything you could identify?"

Allen took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to remember clearer. He gasped and nearly hit his head in how stupid he was. How could he forget the marking he swore to himself he'd remember? "They had silver crosses on their right shoulder, but they didn't look like the Order's… Their crosses looked like the one on Timcanpy."

The man's eyes went wide with panic. He stood up and went straight for the door. Outside, there was a guard, who his interrogator whispered something to. The guard nodded before walking briskly away, somewhere Allen didn't know.

"Uh… what's going on?" Allen asked, a panic building inside his chest. Clearly, they were hiding something. They knew who it was.

"I am not at a liberty to tell you that at this time. Let us finish our interrogation." The man sat down again, only this time, his face was much more grave and unfriendly. "What did they do to you? What happened to the Inspector and the finder?"

With his bottom lip quivering, he answered. He told him about being beaten, but he left out the parts where he lost control to the Fourteenth. If Central knew about that, he'd be locked up somewhere, and as much as Allen knew that was probably the smartest idea, he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He told him what happened to Link and Samson with tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Why didn't you let the Fourteenth have control?" the man asked.

Allen looked down, feeling hopeless. "I… I don't know what the Fourteenth would have done… He could have been a threat to the Black Order…"

"But he may have been of use, correct?" the interrogator asked with a dark look in his eyes.

Allen felt like his insides were being twisted in knots, and his heart was pounding wildly. "I guess… but the risk was too great."

The man in front of him scribbled onto his notebook. "How did you escape?"

Hesitantly, Allen said, "Something was causing a commotion. Everyone there was in a panic… I could hear it through the walls of my room. I broke my bounds and kicked down the door. Link was in the room next to mine, and I grabbed him. I took the ark back to the Black Order… I don't remember anything after that."

"One last question, Walker. How did you heal so quickly?" The man's gaze turned to his sharply, and the frown on his face looked like it had been etched in.

"I don't know," he lied smoothly. "I guess… maybe it was the Fourteenth."

"Fine," he replied. "You are free to leave."

…

Kanda was looking for the stupid beansprout. When he was told Allen was somewhere being interrogated, he marched off in a fury. He knew it would happen eventually, but Kanda would like to have checked up on him first to make sure he was okay.

Biting his lip, he realized he was going soft. Since when did he go to _checkup_ on anyone? It wasn't like him, he knew that, but every time he closed his damn eyes, he saw that fragile, vulnerable Allen. His heart clenched in fear that something else would happen to make that worse, and then Kanda couldn't control himself.

After storming off to the cafeteria, begrudgingly deciding to eat something, he ran right into the object of his search.

"Watch where you're going, baka moyashi," Kanda said coolly, grabbing Allen's arms to steady him.

"Whatever, BaKanda. You came out of nowhere!" he replied with annoyance, like he really wanted to get away from the cafeteria.

"What's with the rush?" Kanda asked, genuinely curious.

The snow haired teen rolled his eyes. "I don't like being pitied by everyone… and Komui says he has something important to tell the entire Order. He wanted to tell me first."

Kanda's cobalt blue eyes narrowed as he considered what that could mean. "I'm going with you."

"What? Why?" Allen asked with surprise etched into his unique features.

"It's not like I have anything better to do," Kanda said simply, gesturing with his arms for Allen to take the lead.

Allen looked at him strangely before shrugging and walking forward. They walked in silence. Kanda was too immersed in his thoughts t even attempt a conversation. Something had changed when Allen returned, but no matter what he did, he couldn't detect what changed. Whatever had changed didn't change in Allen Walker. It changed in Kanda. It was unbelievably frustrating. Before he could do something he regretted, they entered Komui's office.

"Kanda? What are you doing here?" the crazy scientist asked.

Allen spoke for him. "He decided to tag along."

"That should be fine. What you're about to hear, though, will be rather shocking. I'm going to ask the two of you to keep this a secret for the time being," the Chinese man said. "Take a seat."

The two teens sat down on the couch before Komui, and Kanda looked at Allen carefully with his peripheral vision. The beansprout looked uncomfortable, but the older teen had no idea why.

"Long ago, back when the Black Order was established roughly one hundred years ago, they weren't the only organization created by Central and the Church. It used to have a counterpart named the White Order. The White Order specialized in learning about dark matter. They were supposed to learn how the Millennium Earl created akuma and find its weaknesses. They had their own headquarters with their own exorcists and finders. Their exorcists doubled as scientists, so they had mostly parasite types because they were invulnerable to the akuma virus. About three decades ago, Central found out that the White Order had allied itself with a Noah, but were unable to identify who. Back then, very little was known about the clan of Noah, so Central banished them and had the Crows attack their headquarters. It was a bloody civil war, and many exorcists on both sides died. Until now, we had every reason to believe that they were wiped out. The marking you identified, Allen, Timcanpy's cross, was their mark. General Cross used to work for the White Order. Before the chaos with the White Order, he switched himself over to the Black Order…" Komui's gaze darkened before he decided to continue. "We now believe they allied themselves to the Fourteenth Noah. There's evidence to suggest that Mana and Neah Walker both worked for the White Order. Central thinks that General Cross was a spy… and that while we assumed he was dead, he did work for the White Order."

Allen froze as he took in the new information. If that was true, then… "You think Mana and Cross were working together?" His heart pounded as he tried to think back to anything strange that might have happened during his time with Cross.

"Didn't you ever wonder why Cross found you at Mana's grave?" Komui asked, giving the youngest his deepest look of understanding.

"No… no, this… This can't be real! You're telling me that everything, _everything,_ I've lived was a lie?" Allen stood up in rage. His pain and anguish was unbearable for Kanda to see because he'd never seen the sprout like this… This sight wasn't anything like the usual anger he'd seen from the beansprout on a constant basis. This was slightly terrifying, even to him, though he'd never admit that.

"I'm sorry, Allen," Komui offered lamely. "It seems that way."

"Mana… Cross…" Allen cried in dismay, falling down to the couch. He buried his face into his hands, silently crying. The snow haired teen mumbled something else Kanda couldn't make out, but he caught two words: everyone and lying.

"We need to ask… but did Cross meet any suspicious people while you travelled with him?"

Kanda wanted to punch Komui with every fiber of his being, but he knew this was too important to stop now. Whatever happened with the White Order was going to be vital information, and if Allen had it, they needed it, so he clenched his fists and tried to look anywhere but at the young teen.

"I don't know! I don't know. I never paid close attention to the people Cross met up with! I was always paying off debts or gambling, or doing whatever he wanted me to do!" Allen said, still agonized over the thoughts running through his head.

"So he kept you busy…" Komui trailed off, looking down glumly at the boy before him. Everything about him screamed broken, as if this were the final straw…

"I guess," Allen calmly said, suddenly standing. "I need some time… alone."

Komui wasn't about to argue. He knew what was going through the boy's head. He would be second guessing every moment he ever spent with Mana and Cross, every moment of the past eight years of his life. Not that Komui himself ever experienced that sort of situation, but he had an imagination, and he could feel the emotions rolling off the snow haired teen like tidal waves.

Allen stormed to the door before Kanda stood. He gave a livid glare to Komui, but said nothing. There was nothing more to be said. Quickly, before he lost Allen, Kanda briskly walked out of the room and followed him.

"Kanda, just leave me alone!" Allen yelled, not even glancing behind him to see anymore.

"Tch, baka moyashi-"

"Don't call me that!" Allen barked as he whipped around. "I'm not in the mood! Just leave me _alone_!" His silvery gray eyes were filled with betrayal and so much pent-up feelings Kanda couldn't even begin to understand. All he wanted to do was erase those emotions, and he still didn't have a clue why he wanted to.

"Allen," Kanda said seriously, looking the beansprout right in the eyes. "You need to calm down."

Shock overrode all the other emotions that were in his eyes before. "Did you just call me by my name?"

Slightly embarrassed, Kanda looked away, but he was so relieved he got rid of the painful expression that used to mar Allen's face. "Yes, I did, baka moyashi."

That seemed to bring Allen down from his fury completely. "You're right. I do need to calm down, but… why do you care, Kanda?" Allen asked, sending the samurai an intense gaze. "I'm a time bomb. I could explode at any moment, and when I wasn't this way, you didn't give a damn. So what changed?"

"I don't know, moyashi. Maybe it's that I see myself in you, maybe it's that I can't stand your god damn fake façade anymore! Maybe I've always _cared_ and didn't know until recently. Hell, maybe it's because you're going to get yourself killed if you keep up the martyr act! I don't know, but for your own damn good, let someone help you before you find yourself in a coffin!" Kanda snapped, grabbing Allen's face with one hand.

Their eyes met, and Kanda was thankful to see that Allen was actually registering his words. The silver eyes before him were wide and surprised, but also very sad. That damned sadness never went away, and for the life of Kanda, he couldn't figure out how the hell nobody noticed. Allen suffered in silence every day, and it was finally getting to be too much. Kanda wanted that gone from his eyes, he never wanted to see it again.

Suddenly, Allen pulled away from his touch and looked away. "Thanks for your concern," he said uncomfortably, shifting to put more space between them. "Night, Kanda."

The snow haired boy didn't give him so much as a parting glance before briskly walking towards his room. Kanda had no idea what to do anymore because he could tell he was fighting a losing battle with the moyashi. Eventually, there wouldn't be a battle to fight anymore, and something inside Kanda felt deeply pained by that. No matter what he felt, though, he would keep fighting. That was the only thing he was sure of. Fighting was what he did best.

* * *

So... how was it? I want your honest opinion. Please _**review**_!


	6. Promise

Hey guys. I'm going to start out by saying that I'm IN LOVE with this chapter. It has to be my favorite so far. It was so hard to write, but I think I did okay, so I'm proud of that. Not only that, but I love the Yullen-ness of this chapter. One last thing... you guys are terrific! Thanks for all the reviews, and... holy crap, I have forty followers! Thanks so much for reading!

**jasdevi's secret sissy: **They are going through a lot, aren't they? :3

**negimarules52:** Wow, I'm so happy you read this when you weren't just sitting at home bored. I hope you enjoyed your meal while reading!

**Mad Hatter Usagi:** I'm so happy you loved the twist! I really wanted to add my own flavor to the Mana/Neah/Cross thing because it's still so mysterious in the manga. It means a lot to me that you think my idea with the Black and White Orders was an intelligent idea, because that has to be one of the best compliments I've EVER received when it comes to my writing. I love how you could see this becoming canon, too, because that's been one of my goals from the beginning of this story.

**xFullmetalSoulx:** Don't worry, we all fangirl at some point. Thanks for thinking this could actually happen, too, because I've always aimed for authenticity when writing, but at the same time, embracing individuality and adding my own view on things. I also find it flattering that you think I know DGM so well. (It is my favorite manga, after all.) :P

**AllenMoyashiWalker:** Thank you for calling this creative. I've been working hard to get that "new twist" out there.

**Yullen3:** I wish Yullen were canon, too, sometimes. I have no idea who Allen will end up with in the end. I personally dislike Allena... I feel like they're too brother-sister-ey. Anyway, enough with my rambling.

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 6- Promise

It seemed like ages before Komui told the rest of the Order what he explained to Allen and Kanda. Ever since that night, Kanda noticed Allen keeping everyone at an arm's length and ignoring their concerns. He would flash his fake smile and say that he was fine, but at long last, people were finally starting to see through it. To the dark haired teen, he was amazed by the idiocy of the others. Allen had been doing that since the first day he stepped foot into the order, and Kanda was surprised it took the drama with the Fourteenth to open their goddamn eyes.

It didn't take long for the samurai to figure out that the stupid beansprout was avoiding him more than the others. He skipped out on training sessions so often that Kanda decided to stop hoping he would show up. He changed up his eating schedule so Kanda was never in the cafeteria at the same time. He never wandered the halls, and Kanda began to wonder where he was going, because staying in his room that long didn't seem likely.

That morning, two weeks since the information on the White Order was given to Allen and Kanda, the Japanese teen finally was called in for a debriefing on another mission. When Kanda arrived to the idiot's office, he was surprised to see the stupid beansprout sitting on the couch.

"Kanda, good, hurry up and sit down," Komui said, taking his own seat behind his wooden desk. "There's a high chance innocence is in a town called Rothenburg, Germany. Every night at midnight, a green light shines from the old Seibers tower and causes a person to be able to read the mind closest to them for an hour, and that person to read theirs. The finder unit themselves have experienced this, and need exorcists to identify the innocence and destroy akuma."

"Why are you sending the two of us?" Allen asked uncomfortably. "You know Kanda and I don't get along."

"I'm sending you, Allen, because you are very polite, and Kanda is the best person to protect you right now. Link is still out of commission," the scientist answered. "You also are the only two available exorcists at the moment."

"I don't need protection," Allen responded stiffly. "I am capable of taking care of myself."

At that, Kanda clenched his fists. "Tch, yeah right, baka moyashi. You're a target by both the Noah and the White Order. You already were kidnapped once," he pointed out with frustration.

"Don't call me that! And I was taken by surprise…" Allen murmured, trailing off, trying to avoid painful memories.

"You will both go on this mission together. Keep things civil and quick. Now that we know the White Order has exorcists, we are competing with them for innocence. You are to leave immediately using the ark to Berlin and from there, you'll take a train to Rothenburg."

Allen nodded gravely before turning around and exiting the room. Kanda was about to do the same when a hand appeared at his shoulder. "What?" he asked, toning down his annoyance.

"Take care of him, Kanda. He needs someone who understands him and his pain right now, and you're the closest to that," Komui said with potent sorrow and regret. "His whole world has been turned upside down."

"Tch, he'll be fine," Kanda said, but it probably came through as "I'll make sure he's fine."

"Thank you, Kanda," Komui replied, releasing the hand that was on his shoulder.

Kanda parted the room with a heavy glance to the scientist. As he walked down the hall, he wondered what he would find in Allen's mind if he were able to read it, and what Allen would find in his. The idea of being in the sprout's mind after everything that has happened unnerved him. He didn't want to experience the pain the moyashi was no doubt going through, and he certainly didn't want to see it so close.

At all costs, he would avoid the light and try to avoid reading Allen's mind. It wasn't like it was required of them to feel the power of the innocence themselves, so it wasn't defying orders. With a sigh, Kanda rushed to his room to pack.

…

They still hadn't said a word to each other since the debriefing in Komui's room. Now that they were on the train, Kanda expected the stupid beansprout to say _something_, but he was acting like Kanda wasn't even there. He just read over the dossier and tossed it to the seat next to Kanda's when he was finished.

"If you have something to say, say it," Allen said, lying down. "You've been staring at me for the past half hour."

For a moment, Kanda was speechless. The snow haired teen hadn't shown any sign that he noticed Kanda was watching. When he recovered from his moment of surprise, he let his annoyance show. "You've been avoiding me," he stated bluntly, giving an intense glare to accompany the words.

The vacant look that showed on the teen's pale face didn't match Allen. "So? You should be happy, Kanda. You get to see less of me. I'm only a problem, anyway," he said bitterly, looking out the window. "I am nothing but trouble wherever I go, so you're better off."

"Stop it," Kanda said in a low voice, so low, it was almost a growl.

"Stop what?" Allen asked innocently, but he still looked hollow.

"Stop being selfish," the samurai responded. "You're acting like nobody cares about you. You know _everyone_ cares about you, and you push them away like their feelings don't matter. You're pretending you're the only one in this goddamned world that goes through shit. What's that stupid saying you constantly say? _Keep walking_?" Kanda asked, giving a scowl to the younger teen. "Take your own damn advice, baka moyashi. That's one of the reasons I hate you; you think you're a martyr, but you couldn't be more selfish."

Allen gave him a disheartened look before rolling on the other side. He looked like he was going to go to sleep, but Kanda knew better.

Slowly, Kanda stood, and he moved next to the sulking teen. Gently, he rested a hand on the frail shoulder. "Let us care, and let us help. Don't make us watch you suffer in silence," he whispered softly near the boy's ear, surprised at his own words and tone.

Whatever was going through Kanda left him feeling so desperate to reach out to Allen in any way that he could. Maybe his outbursts were too much, but god damn it, he had to try _something_ to get the younger teen to cheer up.

Big silvery gray eyes with tears still in them peeked over a thin shoulder. "Why are you still trying? I'm so hopeless, yet… you're the one who is still fighting for me. Why?"

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he said, "I'm not sure anymore. Allen, you're more important to me that I ever thought you would be, so stop moping around and start walking. You're better than this." Kanda's breathing was steady, but he was internally nervous. He knew he wasn't acting like he would normally, but… if it would kill the misery inside the boy before him, then he would act like this.

Allen shed a tear before twisting around to pull Kanda into a hug. "I promise I'll keep walking," he said softly. "I'll stop distancing myself from everybody." He squeezed as if to reassure his words, and Kanda at last returned the hug.

"You better, baka moyashi," the samurai responded, instantly reverting back to normalcy.

Kanda pulled away and moved to sit on his side of their compartment. His eyes never left the pale boy before him, even after said boy fell asleep. Once they reached their destination, Rothenburg, Germany, he gently nudged his partner to wake up.

With unfocused eyes, Allen sat up and said, "Are we there yet?"

"Yes," Kanda said gruffly. His voice hadn't been used in hours. Outside their windows, darkness took over the station.

"We better get this handled quickly like Komui wanted," Allen said, standing up and stretching. "Do you know the time?"

Kanda noted the instant change in attitude and presence from the younger teen. It made him feel better inside about everything. "It's almost midnight," he responded.

"Okay, then we should get going," Allen said as he adjusted his exorcist jacket and exited the small train compartment. Kanda followed and didn't bother to pay any attention to their finder's rambling about the innocence.

…

When they got to the tower, it was almost midnight. Allen looked weary of the tower, but took the lead on heading inside. So far, no akuma or White Order exorcists showed up, and it was obviously putting the two exorcists on edge. Allen's eye could detect akuma, but it wasn't going to be of any use against the White Order if they sent anybody again.

Still, the two exorcists wandered the tower together, saying nothing about their worries and searched for anything that could be innocence. When they reached the top, Allen gasped, and Kanda instantly went to his side. "What is it?"

"The view… It's so beautiful," Allen stated, gazing out of the open top. A giant bell stood in the middle of the cramped space.

Suddenly, it rang, completely on its own. As it rang, green light surrounded the top of the tower and showered everything below. The loudness of the large bell hurt both exorcists' ears, but Allen actually fell to the ground in agony.

Kanda, ignoring his own pain, sat on his knees next to Allen, who was clutching his ears as hard as he could. "Kanda! Stop the bell!" he shouted before grinding his teeth in pain.

"I can't!" the samurai said, glancing at it. The bell continued its ringing, and Allen continued to writhe on the ground. When the ringing stopped, Kanda realized Allen's ears were actually bleeding.

_I can't hear anything!_

"Moyashi, what did you just say?" Kanda asked out loud.

_I… I didn't hear what you said, but… I heard it inside my head. I think the innocence must have damaged my ears, and I can read your mind… _the moyashi's voice said, only his lips didn't move at all.

He thought about that, and realized that if Allen couldn't hear, it was good they could read each other's mind.

_Stop it, BaKanda! That bell has to be the innocence, just get it,_ Allen thought, still holding his ears.

There was no way Kanda would bother with the innocence until Allen was at least bandaged. He would be in no condition to fight if he were unable to hear anything.

_Stop it! Don't worry about me, it's weird. Just get the innocence, I'll be fine._

As if things couldn't get much worse, Allen's eye chose that time to activate.

_Four akuma… two level twos, one level three, and one level four._

Kanda just offered a hand to help the younger teen up. It was strange to feel his presence in his head, reacting to everything his every thought.

_Yeah, it's strange, Kanda. I don't like being inside your head… it's such an invasion of privacy,_ Allen thought. _Our priority is the akuma… especially that level four. _

Kanda agreed internally, finding it strange still to be so connected. Instead of focusing on that, he activated his Mugen while the moyashi activated Crowned Clown. Using his innocence, Allen jumped over the side of the tower and slashed the two level twos with his claw. They exploded before Kanda could even make a swipe at the level three. The level four wasn't in sight, but he knew it was there because he felt its presence. The moyashi knew it, so therefore he knew it.

A mere level three wasn't anything to be concerned with for Kanda. Allen wandered off to go and find the level four using his eye, but no matter how far Allen went, Kanda could still read his mind and every thought. He supposed that if he tried, he could actually see where the moyashi was.

He dodged an attack to his left from the overly large and bulky level three akuma. Using the second illusion, he was able to slash his enemy multiple times, and it ultimately exploded.

_Nice job,_ Allen commented. _The level four still hasn't shown up… but my eye is still activated._

_I know, baka_, Kanda replied, thankful for the mind connection.

_It's weird, I can't hear anything,_ Allen said, obviously a little panicked.

_Be careful, it could sneak up on you,_ Kanda reminded.

Allen thought back, _It takes a lot for an akuma to be able to sneak up on me. The akuma is far away. It seems to be going away from the tower…_

_We should regroup,_ the samurai thought. _Meet me here at the tower. We'll get the innocence first before we deal with the cowardly akuma_.

_I can't let it get away,_ Allen thought desperately. _I need to free its soul. It's suffering in there._

When Kanda closed his eyes, he saw flashbacks that didn't belong to him. He saw the twisted, distorted, horrific soul of a level four akuma. He saw the memory of Allen's first time meeting a level four, back when the Black Order was nearly wiped out. When Allen almost got sick, Kanda couldn't even blame him now that he saw it, too. He was horrified by what he saw, and he almost wanted to throw up, much to his chagrin. _That's some kind of hell you see,_ Kanda thought.

_You see why I need to destroy them, they don't deserve this existence. You're the only person to have seen the suffering of a level four other than me,_ Allen thought solemnly. _I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you to see that. I've never tried to control my thoughts so much before._

_Hurry up and get back here. Your ears need checking,_ Kanda thought, trying to avoid thoughts of the level four. _We'll find it later. The priority right now is the innocence._

_You're right. We've got to secure its safety before we hunt down the akuma. I'm already halfway back to you,_ Allen thought.

After that, Kanda's thoughts strayed. He tried desperately to control where they went, but he hadn't realized it was so hard to do. (Allen agreed in his mind, of course.) That only made him think of the things he didn't want Allen to see, like the lotus illusion.

_What is that supposed to mean? _the snow haired teen wondered. _Sorry… I can't help but wonder_.

_It's none of your business,_ Kanda thought, but he knew it was pointless to try and hide his thoughts because nothing would work. _It's an illusion I've always seen. Whenever I get close to death or injured, I see it._

_Oh… I'm sorry. I hope this wears off soon,_ Allen thought, and he sounded embarrassed. _I wish we didn't get connected in the first place._

_It's not like anything will change it now,_ Kanda thought bitterly. _It already happened, now we deal with it._

_I'm really glad that you don't hate me for this,_ the snow haired boy thought cautiously. _It seems like you always blame me for anything that goes wrong_.

_You're usually to blame, _Kanda replied. _But it's also pretty fun to mess with you._

_So that's why you always harass me!_

_Only when you give me a reason to,_ Kanda thought before Allen appeared before him. _You look like crap. Both ears look like they're still bleeding._

_Thanks for the compliment, BaKanda, _Allen replied sarcastically.

When Kanda looked to examine the wounds, he found that they were bleeding a lot more than they should have. Tentatively, he decided to touch Allen's right ear, and the moyashi whimpered out loud.

_That hurts!_ Allen shouted in his head. _Stop!_

_That's why we need to get you to the hotel room. Your white hair is stained with your blood, not to mention your uniform. Leave the innocence to me,_ Kanda decided, standing and brandishing his sword. If he destroyed the bell, the innocence would break into its raw form. When he attacked the bell, it rang loud, and Allen winced. He may not have been able to hear the bell, but he could feel the vibrations rumbling all around him. It was causing him pain… and Kanda began to wonder if this was a good idea.

_Just keep going! I'll be fine, I'll heal._

Kanda ignored that statement and looked at Allen. The silence of the night was strange because his mind was where the loudness was. Even if Allen hadn't taken any injuries besides the ear damage, he looked exhausted and ragged.

_No, we're not stopping, _Allen thought stubbornly. _Not now._

_If we don't, then you're going to go deaf permanently. Komui would have my ass if you came back deaf, _Kanda mentioned with suppressed annoyance. Unable to stop himself, he remembered what Komui had told him before they left.

_Komui really said that? I'm sorry if he made you feel uncomfortable, Kanda, I can take care of myself…_

_You haven't been doing a very good job of that,_ Kanda noted. _Not lately, at least, and especially not now, you stupid beansprout._

_I'm not a beansprout! That nickname gets on my nerves. Now hurry up and get the innocence already. I'm not weak, this pain isn't even bothering me, _Allen lied.

_Now you're trying to lie in your mind? That doesn't work, _Kanda replied bluntly. _The innocence will be fine, I'm taking you to the hotel room._

_No, BaKanda! We already let the level four get away, we're not leaving this behind._

_Stupid moyashi, you're injured. With how much blood you've already lost, you'd be useless in a fight._

_I'm not leaving this place, Kanda. I'll get the innocence myself, _Allen thought stubbornly.

Kanda picked him up bridal style instinctively. _I'll take you even if I have to keep carrying you like this. You're in no position to argue._

_Put me down! We have a mission to do._

_And you're exhausted. Do you expect me to save your sorry ass if we get into a fight? You already know Komui will be pissed at me if you aren't kept safe. Not only that, but I can't cut that innocence down with you here. I'll take you to the hotel and then come back immediately,_ Kanda decided with finality.

_I guess I can't argue with that. Just be careful, I don't want anything to happen while I'm not there, Kanda._

_I'll be fine. _Kanda felt the boy relax in his arms finally and decided that the contact felt nice. He wasn't used to having anybody in his arms like this, but it was infinitely better than when he had last carried Allen.

_God… I looked so awful back then. Why didn't you tell me that you were the one to find me?_

_You never asked. _

_It didn't occur to you to tell me? _Allen asked apprehensively.

_Not really. Does it make a difference?_

_No, but it does make me wonder about some things. Why did you give me your blood in the first place?_

The question brought up his memories of the month and half while the moyashi was missing, then seeing him in the hospital, hearing the diagnosis. Kanda felt increasingly uncomfortable with Allen in his mind knowing how he felt during that time.

_You were actually worried about me?_

_Yes, I was, baka moyashi. Everyone was._

_I've always cared about you, I'm just glad to find out it wasn't one-sided. Thank you… so much. Who knows how long it would have taken me to recover if it hadn't been for you. I could still be lying in a coma in the infirmary right now…_

_You're not, so don't dwell on it._

_It's hard not to dwell on, you know. We're reading each other's minds, not at will. In any case, I'm glad to be here._

_Why is that?_ Kanda wondered.

_Despite the pain in my ears, I think it was worth seeing this side of you. There's a lot more to you than what meets the eye._

_Tch, don't get too used to it._

_The effects of the innocence will probably wear off soon. I won't have a way of communication… that's a little frightening,_ Allen nervously thought.

_I guess so. If it bothers you that much, I can give you some of my blood, but I don't have a syringe with me right now._

_You don't need to bother. These wounds will heal… the Noah inside me will take care of that._

_What's it like? _Kanda thought, unable to stop the question from coming up.

_You mean having a Noah inside me?_

_Of course, baka moyashi._

_It's unsettling. I feel like I can't trust anyone, least of all myself. He could possibly want to destroy the Black Order and all the people I care about. His abilities are unknown… and I often wonder what it would be like if I let him win,_ Allen thought darkly.

_Don't think like that, you're stronger than him._

_Am I? Is it really me that's strong, or has it always been the Noah? You have no idea what I was like before I met Mana._

_You'll probably end up enlightening me on accident._

_I was bratty, antisocial, and reckless. I was mean and cruel to everybody I knew, including Mana. Back then, I was known as Red because of my ugly arm. I worked for the circus as an errand boy. One day, Mana's dog, Allen, died. I liked Allen… he was the first friend I had. Mana said that he would be leaving the next day, Christmas. He adopted me from the circus and named me Allen Walker._

_So you were named after a dog?_

_I guess, but where I got my name doesn't matter to me. I like Allen a lot more than Red. Why I got my name was the most important thing. Red was a name based on an ugly physical trait of mine. Allen was a name given to me out of love from the only father I've ever known._

_What do you think of him now that you know the stuff about the Fourteenth?_

_I don't know. I can't hate him, even after I found out all that stuff. The only thing I wish to know is if he loved me or who I could become. It's agonizing, Kanda. Nobody has ever really cared for me for me. At least, not for certain,_ Allen thought, and Kanda could feel the pain he felt.

_I care for you for who you are._

_Then you're the only one. _

_I'm not. Lenalee, Komui, most of the people at the Black Order care for you for who you are, too._

_Maybe they do, but they let their fear get in the way. Everyone but you is sane. You fear nothing, which is admirable, but ultimately reckless. Do you have any idea how easy it would be to let go of everything that I am and let the Fourteenth have control? It's as easy as falling asleep… and I'm tired. What would you do if I were to let go now?_

_I'd fight him, and make him give control back to you_, Kanda instinctively thought.

_And what if I didn't want it back? Could you honestly kill me?_

_No… __I couldn't do that._

_Then you're an idiot. You're the one person I thought would be able to kill me if I should lose the fight._

_Do you want me to be?_

_Yes. If the Fourteenth ever wins, and nothing works to get me back, I don't want him to wreak havoc on the people I love. I want to die if this body ever slips my control. Don't let me suffer in that kind of darkness. It's no different than being an akuma… tortured by what happens, trapped inside, and out of control. _

_Fine. I'll promise you that, Allen. If the Fourteenth wins, I'll kill him, regardless of him wearing your skin._

_Thank you._

_There's more_, Kanda thought. _You have to promise me something in return._

_What do you want?_

_Don't give up. This isn't an excuse to let go because that's what is easy. If anything, this is an excuse to fight harder, because I'll never forgive you for making me promise you that if you didn't fight it with everything in you._

_I swear I won't go down without a fight, Kanda. I owe everyone that much._

Kanda finally set Allen down so he could walk on his own two feet. They entered the lobby of the small inn and walked up the stairs together. When they were nearly at the top, Allen stumbled a little bit, and Kanda had to support him to keep from falling down.

_That head wound is bothering you more than you want to admit_, Kanda acknowledged.

_I guess… I _am_ feeling lightheaded. There's no point in lying about that. My ears hurt… and they might still be bleeding a little._

The samurai watched as the smaller teen tossed off his exorcist jacket and sat down on the edge of the bed. He wasted no time in removing his shoes and socks before lying down. Kanda went to grab a wet cloth and a towel. When he returned to the room, he placed the towel under Allen's head and began to softly wipe up the blood.

_Thank you for taking care of me._

_Thank me later, this isn't going to heal quickly… and it's going to hurt._

After Allen was successfully cleaned up, he was sleeping almost immediately. Kanda couldn't see his dreams, and he realized it must have been an hour already… so their time was up. Whenever Allen woke, he wouldn't be able to hear anything, and they wouldn't be able to communicate effectively. With a wary sigh, Kanda stood up and glanced once more at the sleeping moyashi before going back to find the damn innocence.

* * *

So what did you all think? Please **_review_** because there is nothing more inspiring than what you have to say, whether it's criticism or praise, I love it all.


	7. Return

Hey everyone. Do you ever have those nights where you simply _cannot_ go to sleep because you keep getting ideas for stories? I had one of those nights last night. I have ideas for a few oneshots, and well, I got a plethora of sweet ideas for this story. I honestly have no idea how long this is going to be, because a month ago, there was no White Order! Oh, and I have no clue how I want to end it. I've been thinking of one too many tragic endings, and I don't think I want this to end that way. Okay, now I'm done with the rambling.

**One last thing: I posted a oneshot earlier today called ****_Who am I Living For?_ that kind of shows one of the endings I had in mind for Infection. Please read it!**

**Lenore91:** I thank you so much for our PM conversation, like, words cannot describe how much your criticism helped me. Everyone needs a person here and there to critique their work, and I'm lucky it was you. :)

**Mad Hatter Usagi:** Thank you so much for saying that my innocence idea was brilliant. The funny thing is, I can't even remember how I got the idea... I wish I could, that way, I'd do it again to come up with more ideas. The promises exchanged were supposed to seem _real_, like how people would react if that situation were to ever happen. In this chapter, you'll find out if Allen's deaf permanently or not. :P

**negimarules52:** Lol, I'm glad my story was like breakfast. That is, by far, the weirdest compliment I've ever had. I love it so much. Weird compliments are the best, I swear. :) Thanks for reviewing!

**vincents1lover**: You know, I also can't wait to see where this goes. I'm kind of winging it as time goes on.

**YaoiFanGirl:** Um... well, I updated. :3

**xFullmetalSoulx:** Oh, Yullen, it's got to be heaven. I can't get enough of them! GAH! This is how I show my love for Yullen. xD

**YourLuckyWish**: I just now realized that your first review was for chapter 5. For a moment, I was looking at my email and thinking, "How can the same person review twice?" Then, like the idiot I am, I realized it was for chapter 5 and 6. I LOVE your praise. :P Here's more!

Thanks for reviewing, you guys. I appreciate them all.

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 7- Return

The following day, Kanda woke up to warm sunshine on his skin from the window above the bed he shared with the moyashi. This was the first time he could say he was comfortable waking up. He felt so relaxed where he was, and he didn't want to move. Slowly, his senses began noticing things, even if he wanted to let sleep take hold of him again. One of the first things he noticed was that there was a soft rhythm of breathing not too far from him. The next thing he noticed was that he was on his further in the middle of the bed than where he fell asleep. When he opened his eyes, he was slightly embarrassed because he realized Allen was rather close to him, and Kanda himself had an arm draped over the smaller body. He sat there, too content to move, even if he was feeling a slight awkwardness. After the previous day's events, he wanted nothing more than to just stay there resting just as he was now, close to the moyashi. Being away from the Black Order was doing both Allen and Kanda good, and the samurai just didn't want that to end.

His thoughts drifted towards the promise he made Allen the day before. He hadn't wanted to make that promise, but he knew he had to. It was what Allen wanted, and if Kanda were in that situation, he would want that, too. It was then that he realized he was beginning to think more like the sprout. He figured that after the day they had the day before, some things would rub off on him, but he didn't expect some of his own philosophies to be called into question. Now, he began thinking that akuma were tragic creatures, something he remembered Allen saying once. Kanda recalled Allen saying that if the Fourteenth won, he would be just like an akuma. In the samurai's mind, Allen was turning into something even darker than a level four akuma. Noah were dangerous, and he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to fight against something inside your head.

Kanda shook his head with a sigh. Perhaps he really had been spending too much time with the moyashi, but it didn't feel like enough. Surprisingly, he was enjoying all the time he spent with him as of late, regardless of the less than fun topics that arose between them.

If their first mission together had been this one instead of the one in Mater, he probably would have hated every second of it. Somewhere down the line, he developed a sense of camaraderie, and somewhere after that, it turned into something else. Friendship didn't seem quite right because Kanda knew that feeling. The feelings he had towards the moyashi were something more than friendship.

No matter how he chalked it up, he was infatuated. He had been pulled in by the sadness that exuded from the boy, and probably felt some sort of obligation because he was the only one who noticed. That's what it started out as, but what was it now? Infatuation was what started the strange emotions, but now, it was something far stronger than infatuation.

Was it admiration? That seemed more accurate. He admired the beansprout in more ways than just one. No matter how hard he was hit, he'd stand right back up and join the fight. He admired the mask Allen always wore, even if he hated that he wore it. Kanda, too, had a mask… and that was probably why he admired Allen's. He was so great at deceiving everybody, and Kanda recognized that in himself. They both lied to the world, only going two separate ways. Maybe he admired Allen because they were ultimately one and the same beneath their masks.

When Kanda had gotten a long glimpse of the boy behind the mask, he had seen something _real_. He was a better person when he didn't have to fake anything. He was genuine in everything he thought and felt, and there was no way to hide. The side of Allen he had seen last night was strong, independent, and melancholic. It was such a contrast to what he showed everyone else. He was so relieved by last night because he knew that if it had been up to Allen, that mask never would have come off. Everybody needed to breathe and not lock themselves up.

Kanda realized he was also very happy to have his mask off, too. He knew that it wouldn't be able to come up anymore; not around Allen at least. Also, he knew that he was safe without the mask because Allen wouldn't have his up, either. Whatever went down between them last night broke down a wall that used to separate them.

Kanda was pulled out of his thoughts when he noticed the moyashi starting to wake up. Gently, he lifted his arm off of Allen to avoid any awkwardness, and he realized that he should have moved it long ago.

When his eyes finally opened, they looked a little alarmed. He glanced around the room until he settled on Kanda. Right then, the samurai noticed how empty his head felt without Allen inside there. He knew they wouldn't be able to communicate very well now, and he was half tempted to give him his blood.

"Kanda… say something," he said hesitantly.

"Good morning," Kanda said off the top of his head.

The snow haired teen looked crestfallen and mumbled, "I didn't hear a word of that. Did you say good morning?"

Instead of replying verbally, Kanda just nodded.

"You can talk, Kanda, I can try and read lips," Allen said as he stood and stretched. With an unsettled glance, Allen started up again. "Did you get the innocence?"

"Yes, I did," the long haired teen replied. "I also destroyed the level four."

"Did you just say you destroyed the akuma?"

Deciding to make things easier on the beansprout, he nodded. "We have a train to catch in three hours. Get dressed; we're going to get breakfast."

"Okay," Allen said, looking slightly puzzled. He was probably going mostly by guess at what Kanda said, but there wasn't much more to be done about that.

"I'll be right back," Kanda said slowly, trying to make it clear.

Allen only gave a nod as he dug around for a clean shirt in his suitcase. In the meantime, Kanda plucked up his golem and made a beeline for the phone down in the lobby. He had no choice but to inform Komui of Allen's current state.

"Oh, this is unexpected. Kanda, is that you?" Komui's voice answered.

"Yes," Kanda replied.

"Is there something wrong?"

"The moyashi is currently deaf. We've succeeded in collecting the innocence and destroying the akuma, but when the bell rang, it made the stupid sprout's ears bleed," Kanda answered grimly.

"How long has he been like that?" Komui asked.

"Roughly nine hours."

"Has it healed at all?" the scientist inquired.

"I didn't check," Kanda replied. "What do you want me to do?"

"If it has healed a bit, then there's no real cause for alarm, but if it hasn't improved at all, then you may want to consider giving him more blood. I normally wouldn't suggest this unless it was a serious injury, but Allen can't remain deaf," Komui answered swiftly. "It impairs his ability to communicate effectively with others."

"Got it. We'll be back at HQ by tonight," the samurai said.

"Bring him straight to the science department when you get here. Bye, Kanda," Komui said.

Kanda just hung up and disconnected his golem. Since Allen was without Timcanpy, (he never got him back after the White Order incident), their sole connection to headquarters was through his standard black golem. He slipped it into one of his pockets and went back up to the room he shared with Allen.

When he got inside, he could hear the water running in the bathroom, suggesting the beansprout was taking a shower. There was no doubt that he was washing the blood from his hair because Kanda was positive he didn't get it all out, and the blood on white hair was too much of a contrast.

A few minutes later, Allen exited the bathroom, looking freshly clean and much more comfortable in his clean clothes. "Can we get breakfast now?" he asked, using the towel to dry his hair.

"Yeah, let's go."

"Okay," Allen said, putting the towel back into the bathroom and grabbing his suitcase.

Kanda beckoned with his hands for Allen to come closer. With a confused face, he obliged and said nothing. Gently as he could, Kanda grabbed Allen's ear lobe on his left ear. Allen winced, but stayed silent. The ear still looked ruptured and didn't look much better than before. When Allen looked up at Kanda with a yearning gaze, Kanda sighed. "Moyashi, I need to give you my blood. This isn't healing at all."

"What are you saying?" Allen asked, unable to read his lips that time.

The samurai shook his head. "You aren't healing," he said slowly. "You need my blood."

When Allen caught on, he avidly shook his head no. "You've done enough for me!"

"I'm doing it," Kanda said, already taking out Mugen from its sheath.

"Stop!"

Kanda ignored him and sliced the palm of his hand. Quickly, he sheathed his sword and used his now free hand to tilt Allen's head. At first, he struggled, but he conceded when he realized the blood would only go to waste if he didn't allow Kanda to heal him. A few drops landed on the tender ear, but Allen could feel it was already working… On the other ear, Allen just tilted his head obediently, not realizing how quickly it would work.

"Tch, I can tell you're already feeling better," Kanda said with a victorious smirk. "Can you hear anything?"

Allen shook his head no, and he looked sad. When Kanda looked down at his palm, he saw the closed wound but blood still made a tiny pool. It wouldn't do any good if it dried there, so he moved his palm to be right before Allen's face.

"Drink it," Kanda said simply.

"What? I don't think I caught that right… are you telling me to _drink_ your blood?" Allen looked down and blushed before meeting his gaze again.

"Yes," Kanda said, only now realizing how awkward that was, but he wasn't about to back out now.

Allen blushed a deeper red and locked his eyes on Kanda's. Slowly, the pale lips met the samurai's hand and licked it softly. The younger teen's eyes flickered from the blood before him and Kanda's cobalt eyes. The look inside them was of enjoyment, much to Kanda's surprise. After his tongue lapped up all of the blood, Allen licked his lips.

"That tasted… sweet," Allen said. "God, I can't believe your blood tastes good. That's so disturbing!" Clearly, the beansprout was flustered and embarrassed. Kanda found it endearing, and he wasn't sure why.

"Calm down, moyashi," Kanda said. "It's nothing to get upset over."

Allen's entire face was a light shade of pink by now, and he just gave up and looked anywhere but Kanda. "Let's… um… go… eat breakfast."

…

After they finished their meal and boarded the train, Allen fell asleep again. He hadn't said anything about pain, but it was obvious he had some sort of headache. In any case, Kanda was content to let him sleep. The samurai watched him sleep for a little while before he decided to meditate. A few hours passed by, and Kanda could hear the moyashi stir.

"Can you hear anything?"

Allen looked around blindly. "Kanda, did you just say something?"

"Yeah," he replied.

The snow haired teen practically lit up with joy. "I heard it! I wanted to make sure it wasn't a dream…"

"So are you saying you dream about me?" Kanda teased with a smirk.

Allen looked away with a blush spreading across his cheeks. "I didn't mean it like that! It's just, in my dreams, I can hear what people say, so…"

"Calm down, I was only teasing," Kanda said while rolling his eyes.

"What? Oh…" Allen said, trying to adjust to their new playful banter.

"How does your head feel?"

"My head still aches a little, but it feels much better. The hearing feels like I have cotton stuffed in my ears, but it's nothing compared to last night," Allen answered, moving to sit up and glance out the window. "It's a relief…"

"Were you nervous it wouldn't heal?" Kanda asked, partly to make conversation and partly because he was curious.

"Kind of. It was too strange for me to not be able to hear anything… I mean, you don't really notice just how much you hear until it's gone," Allen said somberly, gazing at the now falling raindrops on the train's window.

"I suppose that would be true," Kanda agreed, trying to imagine total silence. The idea seemed eerie, and the samurai didn't need to be in the younger teen's head to know that.

"Yeah right, BaKanda. I bet you would love not hearing Lavi's voice," Allen pointed out with a mischievous smirk.

"Maybe you're right," Kanda replied, thinking of how nice it would be to easily drown out the people he didn't want to listen to. "But I would hate not being able to hear anything."

"Welcome to my world last night. I swear that I would have gone insane had we not also been able to read each other's minds. That much silence would have terrified me. It was bad enough waking up this morning," Allen muttered, remembering the utter silence he felt. That had been too uncomfortable to deal with. As much as he didn't want Kanda to heal him, silently, he was very thankful.

"It's better now, right?" Kanda asked with a small hint of concern.

"Definitely," Allen responded assuredly. He smiled genuinely before they fell into comfortable silence. Kanda resumed his meditation, but every now and then, he would glance at him. The moyashi looked content as he stared out the window at the scenery.

It wasn't too long before night fell, and they returned to the city of Berlin. They found the old church quickly enough and gave their passcode to enter the ark. By now, both Allen and Kanda were experienced enough to navigate it with ease. They passed through the gate that took them to the Black Order Headquarters and Allen followed Kanda to the science department.

Kanda opened the door, not bothering to knock, and his eyes widened at what he saw in front of him.

"Kanda, what's wrong?" Allen's voice asked from behind him.

When Allen saw what was going on, his breathing quickened and he cowered behind Kanda.

"Welcome, Allen Walker. Please join us," a voice said that sent chills down the moyashi's spine behind him. Kanda could literally feel the terror emanating from the frightened teen.

"Allen, it's okay," Komui's voice said.

It was then that Kanda decided to lie. "The stupid beansprout can't hear anything right now," he said coolly. "He's been reading lips to communicate."

A soft whisper behind him said, "Kanda, you don't need to cover for me."

Komui looked like he could see through the lie, but said nothing on that matter. "Kanda, please bring Allen to me, I need to examine his ears."

Kanda pretended to drag Allen by the arm, and Allen pretended to resist. Instead of saying anything, the smaller boy just stared with fear at the people in front of them.

"Allow me," a man said with choppy shoulder length brown hair and sharp features.

Komui looked pissed, but he stepped aside. "Okay," he said, sharing a heavy glance with Kanda.

"Hello, Allen Walker," he said, getting closer to the moyashi's face, as if he was trying to make reading his lips easier. "I'm Phoenix Gallamore, chief of the science division of the White Order. I heard about your deafness earlier, and came with an antidote." Allen stiffened as he sat down. The man just pulled out a syringe from his pocket. "Where would you like it?"

Allen narrowed his eyes to pretend he was trying to figure out what he said. After a moment, he pointed at his arm and said, "Here, if… if that's what you were… asking." His voice came out unbelievably unsteady, even to his own ears.

It was hard for Kanda not to pay any attention to the fact that this room was filled with a bunch of official-looking people he didn't know. "What's the meaning of this, Komui?" he asked at long last. Several heads turned his direction, but he didn't give a damn about them. He directed his heated gaze towards one of the only familiar faces in the room. Komui just looked away and pushed up his glasses.

"How long will it take for Allen to regain his hearing?" Komui asked seriously.

"It should be back within a few minutes," the man said with a glance at Allen.

"We have to ask you to leave, Kanda," Komui said with suppressed anger.

"No, I'm going to stay," the samurai replied sharply. "I want to know what's going on here _now_. Why the hell are there people from the White Order here?"

"We'll explain when Allen can hear," Gallamore said. "In the meantime, who are you?"

"I'm an exorcist. I've just returned from an assignment," he said, not wanting to give out his name. To hell with manners.

"Kanda, is that it?" he asked. "Is this the one that destroyed the Noah while on the ark?"

"Yes," Komui replied darkly, his tone low.

"Why does he know about me?" Kanda asked, not even attempting to be patient. He knew Allen could hear just fine.

"Let's wait a few more minutes before we divulge information, exorcist," Phoenix Gallamore said with a faux gentleman act to rival the moyashi's.

The air was thick and heavy. Tension rested in the air, and it was practically visible. Everyone in the room was tense with their body language, and nobody was conversing. After minutes of suffocating silence, Allen finally decided to speak. "I think my hearing's back…"

"That's good," Komui said, directing an apologetic gaze to the snow haired teen. "I'm glad your hearing was able to be restored."

"Now god damn it, tell us what the hell is going on here," Kanda demanded, fuming and giving his signature I'm-going-to-kill-you glare to anyone who dared to look his way.

Komui stepped forward and said, "I suppose I should explain from the beginning. About an hour ago, the White Order officials showed up outside our door with white flags of truce. They requested to come inside and explain what went down with you. They wanted you present at this meeting, too…"

A boy who looked to be roughly Kanda's age then said, "We're so sorry for what happened to you, Mr. Walker! It wasn't supposed to be like that, we didn't mean to harm you. Recently, our previous leader made some calls on his own, things that weren't approved by anyone. He's not a bad man, we promise, but back in the civil war… he lost someone dear to him and hasn't been the same since."

Kanda didn't even have a clue what to say to that, and he'd bet everything he owned that Allen felt the same. After all, Kanda had spent an hour inside his mind and knew how it worked.

A different person spoke up. "We were planning a formal visit to you here at the Black Order Headquarters, but he only saw you as his enemy… and he wanted to get to the Fourteenth. You have to understand… We never wanted you to get hurt. This was supposed to go down so much more different. We don't want to start a war with the Black Order and Central Agency. Most of us have put what happened in the past to rest… and we don't want to rehash old wounds."

The chief of the science division then stepped forward. "We want to make a deal with you… one that is the utmost of importance."

"What do you want?" Komui asked, looking like he wanted to stop this meeting right then and there.

"This deal is for Allen Walker," Phoenix said.

Allen was already pale, but now, he looked like he wanted to shrivel up and die. "What is it?" he asked hesitantly. His heart was pounding with a mix of fear and anticipation. There was no way he could have expected this to happen upon his return to his home. Just when things were getting better, and he felt confident again…

"You come with us and spend tonight and most of tomorrow at our headquarters, and we'll tell you everything you want to know about Mana, Cross, the Fourteenth, and the Heart of Innocence. The choice is yours," he said with a pointed gaze. "We promise not to harm you. We feel that you need to actually see what we do rather than having it explained to you."

Allen took a deep breath and glanced at the faces of the people he knew; Komui, Leverrier, Link, and Kanda. All of them looked like they wanted to tell him what to do, and he was able to guess what they wanted him to do. Komui and Kanda were definitely against the idea, he didn't even have to look at them to know. Link and Leverrier, on the other hand, wanted him to go and get the information the Black Order so desperately needed. Internally, he was so torn between duty and fear.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "I'll go on one condition."

"What is that?" the chief asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I get to bring along a body guard," Allen stated, feeling much better. The idea of not being alone there was way too perfect to let go of now. If Kanda agreed, then he knew that he could go into this without panicking. Kanda had somehow become his rock, his shoulder to lean on. It was only natural that he would be the one there with him.

"Who would you bring?" one of the younger boys from the White Order asked.

"Me," Kanda said gruffly, crossing his arms in agitation. Even if Allen himself hadn't said it, Kanda _knew_ the moyashi was going to ask him. They were close because of what happened the previous day with the innocence. Not only that, but Kanda knew he was the best choice even if they weren't so close. Kanda was invulnerable, he would be able to protect Allen no problem. To add to the reasons of why he was the best choice, there was no way in hell would he let Allen be tormented by them again.

"Kanda… he would be the one there with me," Allen said, sharing one quick glance with the samurai. "Those are my terms. Take it or leave it."

"We'll accept. Go, pack. We'll wait right here for your return," Phoenix Gallamore said graciously, even bowing to Allen and Kanda.

Together, they exited Komui's office. Allen didn't have any control of himself anymore, he needed Kanda's reassurance. He threw himself into his arms without so much as a second thought. Tenderly, the samurai returned the hug.

"Are you sure you want this?" Kanda whispered in the boy's ear.

"I need answers, and this is the only way to get them. Thanks so much for supporting me," Allen said genuinely. He meant those words more than anything he had ever said in his life. There was no way he could do it alone, and there was no way he could do it with anybody other than Kanda.

"I want to keep you safe," Kanda found himself saying before squeezing the smaller frame carefully. Softly, Kanda pressed his lips to the snow haired teen's neck. Allen pulled away and looked at the samurai before smiling and resting his head on his chest.

"Thank you so much. I'll never be able to thank you enough, Kanda," Allen murmured as he clasped his hands behind the samurai's back.

They stayed like that for a little while before they knew they could get caught. They both knew that it was a sin, but neither could care. They didn't care about rules or what was considered right and wrong by popular belief. Those two knew nothing was as simple as black and white. Saying the contrary was only naïve.

They split off to grab fresh clothes but met each other on the way back to Komui's office. It was impossible to ignore the growing sense of dread they both felt. When Allen felt he was ready, he nodded to Kanda. He opened the door, and Allen soon followed.

"We're ready to leave."

* * *

So I really hope that this twist shocked some people. That was my intent. Anyway, _**review**_ your thoughts, I love seeing them!

P.S.- I just got a tumblr, and I have no clue how to use it. My friend has been nagging me to get a tumblr, so I finally got one and she's on vacation in Greece. o.O Help would be appreciated tremendously. PM me, please.


	8. Astonishment

Hey guys. HOLY CRAP! 13 reviews in one chapter? You guys are amazing! I've been averaging about six or seven, so that was amazing. THANK YOU!

So... yeah. This chapter had so much to cover! I hope I did okay. I'm sorry there isn't much Yullen in this chapter... there was just too much to fit in. I hope you enjoy!

**Lenore91: **You're not supposed to fully trust them. xD I'm glad it surprised you, because you're the person who I wanted feedback from the most. I really hope you approve of this chapter. :)

**ankhesenamun2:** Here's where you find out if they are hiding something or not. :D Thanks for your advice about tumblr, even if I haven't replied to the PM yet. xD I hope you love this!

**Ern Estine 13624: **I'm glad you thought it was interesting.

**YourLuckyWish:** I love your praise! Oh, and yeah, the Yullen was so damn adorable in that last chapter.

**Mad Hatter Usagi:** I love how I'm writing Yullen. Normally, I don't like what I wrote all that much, but I enjoy this story a lot. Oh, and this is the chapter where you learn (almost) everything. It would be pretty hilarious if I had somebody call them out on their closeness, but not yet. *Evil smirk.*

**jasdevi's secret sissy:** Allen can never catch a break in my stories. I've been told I have an evil mind. xD

**Cana99:** I guess you'll have to tell me what you think about Mana afterwards.

**dancingpiggs: **Well, more is here. :) Thanks so much for reading and reviewing!

**xFullmetalSoulx:** Thanks for the compliments! I absolutely love your comment about me being good at teasing, because I love to tease people. Thanks for saying the characters are in character, too, because I try so hard for that! Oh, and I don't intend to do a tragic ending. Hope that makes you feel better!

**AllenMoyashiWalker:** Yes, yes, the Yullen is brewing.

**SnarkyWolf: **Hehe, I love Timcanpy wayyyy too much for Allen to not find him. :) Oh, and thanks for the compliment about their relationship seeming natural, because I personally prefer naturally progressing relationships than sudden ones.

**Yullen3:** I updated as soon as I finished going through the chapter.

**AliceXxX:** Oh my god, that's hilarious! I hope I satisfied your Yullen fix, because this chapter is kind of lacking it, sadly. Too much plot. Pooey. I'm glad you loved the last three chapters! It takes dedication to read that much in one sitting. :)

YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 8- Astonishment

Kanda and Allen stayed very close to each other as they followed the White Order's group out of the safety of the Black Order headquarters. The samurai knew Allen was nervous; everything in his features betrayed that fact. His ivory skin was paler than usual, tiny beads of sweat were forming at his hairline, and he couldn't keep his gaze settled on anything in particular, even Kanda. His breathing was unsteady and rugged, but the dark haired teen knew that nobody would notice just how unhinged he was by this whole fiasco.

Because Kanda knew that, he kept close to the younger teen for moral support. Not only that, but he couldn't help but keep close since their moment in the hall outside Komui's office. Ever since their most recent mission together, it was strange being away from the snow haired teen. Kanda didn't want to be away from him at all. He enjoyed being in the sprout's company, and he gave up trying to figure out why. There was a connection that formed between them that went too deep for him to try and look at every detail now.

Nobody from the White Order said anything important while they walked to the closest train station which, thankfully, wasn't very far. The head guy, Phoenix Gallamore, kept looking to Allen with a strange look in his eyes, and Kanda was trying to figure out whether he should be protective or not. Either way, Kanda kept his guard up. There was something about these people that screamed untrustworthy, and he'd be damned if anything happened to Allen on his watch. Kanda cared too much to let a single thing happen to him.

When they reached the train, the two Black Order exorcists were given their own first class compartment. After Allen was sure they were gone, he turned to Kanda with an intense gaze. "I don't know what to expect," he said uncertainly.

"Neither do I," Kanda replied, moving to sit next to the moyashi.

Allen smiled as he wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist and leaned against him. "You know, I'm so glad you're here," he said pensively. The young teen buried his face into Kanda's chest. "I never expected us to grow so close. I never expected that having you hold me would be so reassuring. I don't know when it happened or why, but I know that I would be so lost without you." Silver eyes bore into Kanda's, and the samurai's lips moved slightly into what could almost be called a smile.

"Tch, you're so corny," he replied.

"I'm speaking the truth, even if it's corny. I couldn't do this without you. Hell, if it weren't for you, I would still be in that cold hospital room with critical injuries. Thank you for what you did, Kanda," Allen said softly, moving one hand to grab the samurai's. "Thank you so much."

"You talk too much," the older teen said before touching his lips to the younger's forehead.

"I talk when I'm nervous," the white haired boy said, closing his eyes and moving his legs to the far side of the seat.

"You should try to sleep. You've had a long day," Kanda remarked, thinking over the day's events.

"I've been sitting on a train all day," Allen said, and even if the samurai couldn't see it, he was sure the sprout was rolling his eyes. "It didn't get eventful until we got back to the Order."

"Just get some goddamned sleep, moyashi. Tomorrow will be strenuous," Kanda said softly, beginning to stroke the snowy hair in front of him. "Maybe even tonight," he added as an afterthought.

"That feels nice," Allen commented, his voice already dreamy.

Kanda didn't reply, but continued to stroke the soft hair. A while after the moyashi fell asleep, the samurai shifted to a more comfortable position. Now, his legs were intertwined with the younger teen's, and his back was to the side of the compartment next to the window. This way was much more comfortable, and Kanda allowed himself to drift off, still holding Allen protectively in his slumber.

…

A few hours later, Kanda woke up to light knocking. He knew that if anyone caught them like this, there would be hell, so he said, "One minute!"

Allen jolted up at the shout, and he pushed away from Kanda. He realized that they were almost caught, and so he abruptly stood up, probably not the best idea since he _just_ woke up, and moved to open the door, but nearly fell back in dizziness. Kanda extended his arm and ended up wrapping it around the sprout's waist. He smirked at the blush on Allen's cheeks as he moved his arm and stood. Allen, after having taken a minute to get his bearings straight, answered the door. "Where are we going?" he asked, fatigue egging at his voice.

"I'll explain when we're out," a teenage boy said, beckoning for them to hurry.

Kanda ignored him and stretched his tense muscles. The seats on the train, even in first class, weren't the most comfortable place to fall asleep. He stayed silent as he followed the moyashi out of the compartment, then moved to walk by his side after they exited the train.

"We are going to our headquarters. It isn't far from here, Mr. Walker. We would rather not disclose where we are in case things go wrong with the Black Order. You have to understand," a boy said, roughly Kanda's age.

Allen decided to try and go into this with an open mind. If he let what happened hold him back, there was a chance he wouldn't get the information he needed. "Please, call me Allen. What's your name?" he asked, making an attempt to be friendly.

The teen smiled a little and said, "Thomas. I'm kind of like what you would call a finder. Here, we're called silvers."

"Why are you called silvers?" Allen wondered aloud.

"It's because we chose to study light matter instead of dark matter. The people that study akuma are kind of like what you would call exorcists," he answered. "Here, we call them onyxes."

Allen pondered that as they kept walking. He could never imagine introducing himself as an onyx. The thought was too weird, but he tossed it out of his head. So far, the people seemed friendly enough, but he still wasn't sure what to think. "So how many people do you have?"

"We aren't really allowed to disclose that… you know, security reasons, but I guess I can tell you we have more onyxes than silvers. All of us are scientists as well as combatants," Thomas answered. "We are definitely more advanced than your Order when it comes to science. Oh, sorry! Don't take that as offensive, please! I shouldn't have said that."

Allen smiled a polite smile and said, "Please, calm down. It's okay. Why are you so nervous because of me?"

Sheepishly, Thomas looked to the ground before replying. "We are supposed to be making a good impression on you because of what happened before, and I'm such a failure."

That comment made Allen think of Miranda, and he wondered if they were both on the same level of paranoia. "Don't worry, I'm not offended. I've heard that the White Order's specialty is science."

"Thank you, Mr. Walker!" Thomas said, relief overwhelming his features.

"Please, it's Allen," he said, hating formalities. It made him feel like he was above others, and he didn't like that, even with the finders back at his home.

"Well, we're almost here. We have a lot to tell you, Mr. Wa- Allen."

"Okay," Allen said, now looking at the tall building before him with fear flooding his system. He remembered this building all too well, and he didn't want to go back. Instinctively, he moved closer to Kanda, who had been silent during his conversation with Thomas. Kanda looked to Allen's eyes and gave a silent message, reminding him of when they could read each other's minds. _You can do this_, the message said, so clearly, he wondered if the innocence had lasting effects, or if he just knew the samurai that well now.

With Kanda supporting him and giving him confidence, he was able to keep a straight face as they entered the intimidating building. There were security men lining the walls, and the black and white decorations were as he remembered. He supposed this place was grand now that he was looking at it, not running away in terror. It looked quite nice, he decided. It was even, perhaps, welcoming.

Phoenix Gallamore opened a tall, black door and led them to a brighter place. It looked to be a cafeteria, and tons of people wearing the dark cloaks Allen saw during his imprisonment. Others were dressed in lighter clothes, but both groups of people were smiling and laughing and mingling. The air smelled of all of his favorite foods blended together. It smelled wonderful, and made his stomach growl.

The place reminded him of the Black Order so much, he began to feel a bit homesick, even if he had only just left his home a few hours ago.

"This is the dining hall," Phoenix said. "Most of our people relax here. I believe Thomas explained to you a little about onyxes and silvers, right?"

Allen nodded, still unnerved by the chief. "He did."

"Here, onyxes and silvers are equal in status, but there are more onyxes in number. There is a third group of scientists, they're called the axinites. They are the minority, and they are the rough equivalent of your Great Generals. Here, they specialize in the use of magic. You probably will never see them, with the exception of one…" Gallamore trailed off quietly with a frown. "Anyway, you'll see him before long. Are you hungry? I understand you had just returned from a mission when you arrived back at the Black Order."

"Yeah, now that I think about it, I am pretty hungry," Allen said, looking around for him to order.

"You order over there," Phoenix said as he pointed to the far left corner of the room. "Thomas will escort you to my office when you are finished."

"Thank you, Mr. Gallamore," Allen said politely.

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Walker," he said, equally as polite.

"Since you're an organic, you must be starving!" Thomas said with a smile. "I guess you'd call yourself a… parasite-type? Here, we call it organic. It's easier, and it sounds less disturbing. Parasite sounds like it sucks the life out of you, when nobody likes to think of it that way."

Kanda had been silent during the 'tour' since he had nothing to say, but he, too, was starving, so he decided now there was something to say. "Do you have soba here?"

"You can order anything you like, we have a team of professional chefs from around the world," Thomas answered. "Since we have tons of organics, they are also pretty fast at cooking. They don't like to keep their friends waiting."

Allen and Kanda went to order, and while they were waiting, they saw quite a few people with tons of plates scattered around them. For the first time ever, Allen was surrounded by people with an appetite to rival his, and he thought it was strange. The entire White Order was strange to him, because he didn't remember it looking so much like the Black Order.

While they ate, Thomas rambled about the architecture, the layout, and how excited he was to be sharing a meal with Allen. Kanda continued to stay silent, but the snow haired teen was acutely aware of his presence. They sat close to each other, side by side, and occasionally, they brushed their legs or hands so Allen wouldn't forget that Kanda wasn't going anywhere, and he wasn't alone in this new environment.

After they finished, fear and uneasiness crept its way back into Allen's heart. He was almost able to forget while he was eating, but now that he was following Thomas down a dark hallway, the fear was unforgettable. Unconsciously, he grabbed Kanda's hand. Thomas was clueless as to what was happening behind him, but the silence was only building tension, so he tried to ramble about the structure some more.

Kanda's eyes were locked onto Allen's pale and frightened face. As best he could in the circumstances, he tried to reassure and comfort him. Gently, he raised their clasped hands and kissed Allen's. His small distraction worked and earned a small smile from the snow haired teen.

"Here we are," Thomas said as he turned around. Just barely in time, their hands were separated. Hopefully, the silver hadn't noticed anything.

The door was opened before anybody could even knock. "Ah, welcome. Come on in," a young teenage blonde girl said. "You must be Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu!" Kanda's face contorted into a frown at the use of his first name, but he said nothing in response to the girl. "I'm Riona Gallamore."

"Wait, are you the chief's sister?" Allen asked with a raised eyebrow, thinking of Komui and Lenalee.

The girl before him smiled and laughed. "I'm his daughter, actually. I kind of act as his assistant, I guess… but that's just so I can give a hand."

Allen's eyes widened in surprise. "They allow family here?"

The girl cocked her head to the side. "Of course they do. The families of innocence users all live here. We all try to pitch in somehow, though. Some of us study matter, some of us bond with innocence, some of us participate in security. There are also some of us that just make uniforms and coffee, or clean up the dining hall and kitchen. We try to keep every family together, so we offer up a place for them to live that's safe from akuma and the Millennium Earl. All we ask is that they help out somehow," she replied with another genuine smile.

"Wait, what do you mean _bond_ with innocence?" Allen asked with a slightly wavering voice.

"Well, if you prove to be a good enough fighter, then you can talk to an axinite and they'll bond you temporarily to innocence so you can rank up. It's not that common, though. You have to pass a series of tests to get up there. Even I haven't gotten up that high," she said sheepishly. "I'm trying to get there, though."

"How is that possible?" Allen asked, his mind remembering how fallen ones were created by people who were forced to try and activate innocence that didn't belong to them.

"Oh, well, it's pretty hard, and it can only be done by a highly skilled axinite. They use magic to make it possible for you to bond with innocence, but it generally only lasts for a few years. People who want to continue active service will get it done yearly just to be safe. Anyway, I should really let my father explain all this to you," she said, leading them a ways down into a lounge-like office. It was a relaxing atmosphere, and the air smelled like vanilla. Expensive-looking furniture decorated the room and gave a very sophisticated feel.

"Hello, Mr. Walker, Mr. Kanda," Phoenix said, standing at a table pouring tea. "Would either of you like some?"

Kanda could smell the hint of mint tea mixed into the air with the vanilla, and decided a cup wouldn't hurt. "I would," he said cautiously, watching him pour it. Nothing appeared suspicious, and he knew nothing would get past him.

"I'm good," Allen said, taking a seat on the couch.

"Milk or sugar?" the older man said, looking at Kanda.

"Neither," he replied, sitting next to Allen.

"I'm sure you both have many questions," the brown haired man said. "Riona, please, leave us to discuss this. You should go to bed, it's pretty late."

"Yes, father. I'll see you tomorrow!" she said cheerfully before grabbing a leather bag and leaving the room. "Goodnight!"

Phoenix Gallamore handed the cup of tea to Kanda, who carefully took a sip. It was rather hot, but that didn't bother him. He had been right about the flavor being mint. It overall didn't taste bad, and it didn't taste like there was any sort of drug in it, so he kept drinking.

"Um… I don't know where to start," Allen said uncomfortably. "How about… the heart of innocence?" The snow haired teen fidgeted as he tried to find a more comfortable position.

"Ah, the heart. The heart of innocence belongs to none other than you," Phoenix said seriously. He ignored Allen's shocked face before explaining further. "That's what we believe, at the very least. We know from our silvers' research on each fragment of innocence that they each have something to say, and it generally pertains to the Heart. Hevlaska at the Black Order is able to give prophecies, but one of our silvers' abilities with innocence is to read an in-depth history of it. Through many investigations, we discovered that the heart had to belong to an organic apostle. The rest after that is all just theory. We've been watching you for a very long time, Mr. Walker," he said, crossing his legs in his chair. "Your innocence is far more powerful than most. You've pushed your synchronization far past a hundred. It's altered its shape based on your emotions, but not only has it altered itself, it's gotten stronger with you. Innocence itself is _alive_. The Black Order does not see that, but we do. It has a will, and it has a purpose. You are the first case known to the world to have ever bonded so well with your innocence. Your innocence chose to save _you_ and actually _became_ your heart."

Allen was over his shock now, but at the last line of the chief's explanation, he looked down to his chest and held a hand over his beating heart. "You're right," he said softly. He looked up at the chief and smiled. "My innocence saved me. After I finally synchronized with it again, I realized that we wanted the same thing. That doesn't make me the heart, though."

"Compare your innocence to everyone else you know," Gallamore said thoughtfully. He took a sip of his tea before continuing. "Your innocence has even altered its form to match the Earl's sword." Allen stiffened at the mention of the Earl. "That was not by accident. The innocence and the clan of Noah have been at war for a long time."

"Then why would the heart chose me, who was destined to become a Noah?" Allen said bitterly, trying to hold back his hatred towards the Fourteenth.

The man suddenly looked uncomfortable. "That… Mr. Walker, was by design."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Allen asked, his heart pounding with nervousness. Kanda shifted slightly closer to get his attention and to calm him down.

"Well… about sixteen years ago, we had a child go missing from our headquarters… he had organic innocence, and we were charged with taking care of him. We sent Mana Walker on a mission to find the boy and implant the Fourteenth's memories into him," the man said carefully, taking the time to choose his words. "He found the boy working at the circus after many years of searching."

Allen's heart pounded in anticipation… he knew where this was going, he knew it. He hated it, but he knew what was going to be said. His hands started shaking, so he clenched them as tight as he could.

"He adopted him after he identified him. He regave him the name he was born with… Allen." A tense pause filled the air as Allen tried to process that information. "Your original last name, however, is not Walker. That was a made up moniker Mana and Neah created a long time ago. Mana raised you, slowly implanting the memories of the Fourteenth over time. When he was about to bring you back here, he grew sick and died. We deployed Cross, who was closest, to come and collect you. Since he was under the ever watchful eye of the Black Order, he trained you to follow their rules. Cross Marian knew little of our operations… he was just our spy, but he took a liking to you. We made a deal that you could get to know the Black Order and hopefully reunite us with them…so we could stand united against the Millennium Earl."

Allen bit his lip as he trembled with suppressed anger. Never before in his entire life had he felt so _used_. "How… how did you know I was the heart then?"

"It was a guess," Gallamore replied. "Plus, the timing felt right for the heart to return to our world. Not only that, but… there was something about you when you were born here, sixteen years ago. I don't know how to explain it…" he continued with a feeling Allen couldn't identify.

"Who are my birth parents?" Allen asked. He made it a point to never think of them because he was always under the impression that they abandoned him, but now… he wanted to know who they were so he could punch them for allowing their son to be used like this.

"I'm not at a liberty to share that information," the chief said, looking anywhere but Allen. "They wish to keep their identity a secret."

"They don't want to get to know me?" the snow haired teen asked, now feeling a wave of disappointment crashing down on his heart. He hadn't noticed that he actually wanted to meet them until now, even if they used him so much.

"It's not that, I promise you. They told me that they would rather get to know you before they reveal themselves. They want to make a better impression on you without the emotional baggage you most likely have with them," Phoenix said softly, as if he understood abandonment issues. "You should know that they were torn up over your disappearance."

"Whatever," Allen said dismissively. He felt Kanda touch his arm, but he even that gesture didn't pull him from his emotional turmoil. Everything he ever knew was being flipped upside down once more, and he hated it. He hated the world right now, he hated the fact that his own parents were alive and most likely somewhere in the building, but didn't want him to know them. He hated that he was a pawn for so many things since the beginning of his life. Everything he knew was some sort of twisted lie, and he realized how easily he'd been dancing in their palms. Allen never saw himself as a puppet until then, and he hated feeling like he was out of control of his _own life._

"Mr. Walker, I'm sorry," Phoenix said. "I'm sure they'll let you know who they are soon enough."

"Just tell me about the god damned Fourteenth," he said angrily, his polite attitude dissipating rapidly. He was no longer in the mood to keep up his usual façade. All of his emotions were going haywire, much to his chagrin. There was no way for him to control them after the news he'd been receiving.

"Roughly thirty years ago, we heard about a Noah who abandoned the Millennium Earl. We tried to ally ourselves with him, but he didn't trust us, so he rejected our offer. The Black Order and Central heard of our attempts to ally with him and got the wrong idea. They thought we had allied ourselves with the Millennium Earl, so they just attacked… they thought we were a threat. After the civil war… the Fourteenth and Mana were running out of places to hide. They found out what happened and decided we could be trusted, so together, we reestablished the White Order and kept to the shadows ever since. We were plotting to attack the Earl when the Fourteenth was kidnapped and killed. Mana was devastated, but he continued to work for us. I guess I should tell you that the Fourteenth Noah isn't the only one on our side…" Gallamore said as he trailed off. "We have one other."

Allen met his limit when he found out about his parents. At this point, nothing would surprise him. "Who is it?" he asked in a monotone.

"Road Kamelot, the Noah of dreams," he answered.

The snow haired teen actually realized he was wrong earlier… he couldn't be more surprised. Unless it was Tyki, perhaps, but Road seemed the most devoted to the Earl. The fact that she was on the White Order's side was surprising to say the least. "Wow…"

"Neah Walker and Road Kamelot were in love for a very long time, but they kept it a secret. In the first attempt to kill the Earl that Mana and Neah did on their own, she was a spy. In the end, all of the Noah were killed except her and the Millennium Earl. Since the White Order was reestablished, she's been secretly handing us innocence that she was supposed to destroy, so we don't send our onyxes and silvers out on missions to retrieve innocence, only to retrieve people we already know are accommodators," Gallamore said, clearly more comfortable with this topic than Allen's parents. "We have over half of the innocence that's out there. There are one hundred nine pieces. The Black Order has forty something pieces, and we have sixty three, including active innocence."

"How do you know so much about the Black Order?" Allen asked. "Cross wasn't the best spy. He was never around the Black Order."

"I can't share that with you…" Phoenix said cautiously. "After all, you aren't one of us…"

Suddenly, the door opened and revealed a very familiar face. "But you could be," he said.

Allen just about had a heart attack as he looked at the man in front of him. He was dressed in a long black trench coat with silver trim and blue markings of the White Order. His fiery red tousled hair shone in bright contrast to the dark colors of the coat. An arrogant smile hung on his lips and a glass of wine was held by a black gloved hand. A golden golem with wings was perched on his left shoulder. Red eyes gleamed as he said, "Hello, stupid apprentice."

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Review, please! I really want to hear all of your thoughts on the stuff that happened here, because I'm trying a lot of different things, and it's all happening at once, so your input would be HIGHLY appreciated. :)


	9. Uncertainty

Hey. So, OMG. You guys! 14 reviews? I LOVE YOU. I love how I constantly keep getting more followers, it's amazing. Okay, so, as amazing as reviews are, there's one thing that would make me die of happiness. If anybody makes fanart for my story, I would jump up and down and go crazy with writing. It's kind of always been a dream of mine... *looks away shyly* If you make anything, I'd LOVE to see it. You all rock!

**Cana99:** So... I kind of hate Allen's parents, too. And yeah, Mana sucks, at least, right now he does... PLEASE DON'T DIE! I hope I updated quickly enough.

**negimarules52**: I'm glad I can lighten up someone's day. You lightened up mine by reviewing!

**ankhesenamun2**: I love Road. I also thought it would make sense, so... that's why she's on the White Order's side!

**AllenMoyashiWalker**: If you can predict this, good... I can't. Lol.

TearsDrippingDown: THANKS FOR THE BUNNY!

**Yullen3**: Yeah, I know the Yullen took a backburner in the last chapter, but in this one, it's a priority! Glad you loved this.

YaoiFanGirl: Thanks! I try to make this a great story.

**anime-fan-girl1751:** Tim is back (kind of)! I'm glad I can surprise you with Road and Cross, I love surprising people. xD Thanks for agreeing that their relationship feels natural, because I always aim for making my writing seem _real_. I think 12 out of 10 is a legit score, albeit unusual. xD THANKS FOR REVIEWING.

**SnarkyWolf**: Lol, I swear I wrote the first 2,000 words of this _before_ I saw your review. And I'm glad you saw lots of Yullen. :D

**roseahal**: I'm glad this makes sense. :)

**xFullmetalSoulx**: THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR FANGIRLING! I'm glad you think everything was very well-executed, because I thought it was all very choppy and hard until the end. Allen's parents do suck, and Kanda was SOOOOO adorable, I know. Myself, I LOVE Yullen (duh), but my favorite straight couple besides LaviLena is RoadAllen.

** Mad Hatter Usagi**: I figured Road _has_ to have some sort of connection with the Fourteenth. You'll meet Allen's parents before too long. :D

**YourLuckyWish**: There is some more cuteness in this chapter. Oh, and shut up, you _are_ amazing!

**Poke-Yaoi-FanGirl**: I may be ripping Allen apart, but Kanda will keep him together! ;)

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 9- Uncertainty

Allen just about had a heart attack as he looked at the man in front of him. He was dressed in a long black trench coat with silver trim and blue markings of the White Order. His fiery red tousled hair shone in bright contrast to the dark colors of the coat. An arrogant smile hung on his lips and a glass of wine was held by a black gloved hand. A golden golem with wings was perched on his left shoulder. Red eyes gleamed as he said, "Hello, stupid apprentice."

Allen stood up in a fit of rage at the tall redhead and punched his face as hard as he could. "Damn you, Cross… You made me think you were dead!" he shouted angrily as he pulled him into an awkward hug.

A stupid grin appeared on the masked man's face before he replied. "Miss me, did you?" he asked with an amused tone. With a growl, the teen pushed him away roughly and sat back down, anger rolling off him in enormous waves.

"You're so _infuriating_!" Allen said, clenching his fists and scowling. "Don't you dare do that to me ever again!"

Kanda had no idea what to make of the outburst from the overwhelmed teen. He knew that Allen hated Cross, but that was the only adult male he had to look up to, so there was some sort of father-son relationship there. He just didn't expect it to be so… violent, especially coming from the moyashi, who was only ever impolite around the samurai. The sight was a mix of amusement and frustration, but Kanda could tell Allen was internally relieved.

"I don't make promises I can't keep," Cross said before smirking and sipping his wine.

"You freaking dropped a bomb on me and then disappeared! What the hell were you thinking, leaving me to think about _that_ by myself?" Allen said, practically screaming at the much older male. "I mean, at least have the decency to fake your goddamned death _after_ you've given me all the facts!"

Kanda didn't know what Allen meant by "that", but he decided it must have been huge to get such a rise out of him. If it was important enough, he was sure he'd hear about it soon, so he wouldn't press the matter. It was pretty clear Allen didn't want to explain it right now, anyway.

"That wasn't my choice," Cross answered, taking a seat in a chair across the couch. "Damn Apocryphos. He tried to kill me at the most inconvenient time. I was shot in the head by my own damn innocence… thankfully, these idiots finally showed up," he said as he gestured to Phoenix. "They took me back here and healed me. They also told me who _you_ are, boy. Your parents…"

"Stop right there," Phoenix interrupted. "His parents want to keep themselves a secret for the time being." A heated glare was sent Cross's way from the chief. "You may be an axinite, but I still rank above you."

Allen looked very pissed off as he clenched his teeth. "Why does everyone know who my parents are except me?"

"Tch, stupid apprentice, your parents are just too damn nervous to step up and talk to you. Maybe they're scared of you," Cross joked half-heartedly before finishing off his glass of wine.

Allen ignored that last comment and decided to focus on something else. "If I were to join you… what would you want me to do?" he asked with remnants of his anger.

"Win the damn war, unite the two Orders, save the world," Cross said casually as he stood and went to what appeared to be an alcohol cabinet.

"As Cross so elegantly put, you are to fight alongside us against the Millennium Earl and help us mend our connection to the Black Order. This fight is going to need all of us… we'll be the first to say that our innocence users aren't up to par with yours, but you'll need our knowledge to win, too. And we can't do this without you, Allen Walker. You possess the Fourteenth's soul and the Heart of Innocence. You are the key to finding the balance between black and white," Gallamore said, clearly very passionate about this subject. He gazed deeply into Allen's silver eyes, searching for an unanswered response.

The snow haired teen looked down to the ground before he said, "If I was so important, then why was I held captive here for over a month against my will?" With a fiery gaze, he looked pointedly at Cross. If he had known about that and he hadn't done anything to help…

Allen's angry thought dissipated as he saw genuine sorrow and regret on Cross's normally unemotional face. "I'm so very sorry about that, Allen. I didn't know… not until Road…"

"Allow me to explain," Phoenix said thickly. "Our old science chief still bore a grudge against the Black Order. He isn't the only one, either… he talked a few of his disciples who still looked up to him into helping him kidnap you… They took you to our facility, and none of us knew. A few days later, one of our spies in the Black Order gave word that you were kidnapped, and we immediately talked to Road to see if it was the Noah. When she panicked, she did snooping of her own and ultimately discovered it was Walter Blake who captured you. At first, we didn't believe her, but she attacked him and caused a panic… In which over forty people saw you escape. He admitted it… and all the people who aided him were thrown into our prison. He himself died in the fight with Road. We are so very sorry, Allen, so very sorry. This wasn't how we wanted to get you. We wanted you to choose our side because you wanted to be here… not because you were forced here," he said sadly and painfully, like he blamed himself for what happened to Allen.

The room fell into uncomfortable silence as they all waited for Allen to say something. Kanda could tell that the moyashi was reaching his limit on how much shocking news he could take. Everything about the snow haired teen looked exhausted, regardless of the ample sleep he had all day. After the very tense pause, Allen finally sighed and said, "I believe you, but I still don't know if I can trust you… and I don't want to leave my home."

"I told you," Cross said, crossing his arms. "My stupid apprentice loves the idiots at the Black Order…"

Phoenix looked very hurt, but nonetheless smiled and said, "You are always welcome here. We have a lot we can offer you. We ask that you not divulge specifics to your superiors… or show them our location using the ark. I'll show you both to your rooms and tomorrow, you may leave whenever you like. The first train back to your headquarters leaves at nine."

"I never said I _wouldn't_ help you patch things up with the Black Order," Allen said cautiously. "I don't know what to do right now, Mr. Gallamore. I have a lot going through my mind at the moment, and it will take time to sort through it all… so if you don't mind, I'd like to retire to my room now."

It was undeniable that the mood in the room lifted tremendously. "Please, follow me, you two," he said to the two Black Order exorcists.

…

After they finally convinced Phoenix to give them one room, he insisted on giving them what appeared to be an actual apartment… It had two rooms, a living room, and a tiny kitchen with a table. It wasn't tremendous in size, but it was decorated tastefully and expensively. It was clear they made places like these for families, now that Allen thought about it. Perhaps this wasn't the biggest quarters, (as they called it) but it could definitely work for a couple with a child or two.

Since it was peaceful in the room, Allen could actually relax a bit. He sat down on the sofa, feeling the high quality soft fabric with his hand. "This place is cozier than the Black Order," he remarked, watching as Kanda moved to sit next to him.

"I guess," he replied, glancing around the room. "It's strange."

"Why is it strange?" Allen asked, glancing at the samurai with a curious gaze.

"This place seems too good to be true," Kanda said with a scowl. "They aren't telling us everything."

"I agree with you on that," the snow haired teen said with a frown. "I'm still trying to believe they allied themselves with Road. She just… seems so loyal to the Millennium Earl… and my master being here is too weird…" Allen shook his head and sighed. "I hate this."

"What is it you hate?" Kanda asked, looking into Allen's silver eyes.

"My parents, Kanda… I hate that they're here, but don't want me to know them…" he said, looking away from the samurai and burying his head in his arms. "I once swore to myself that I wouldn't ever think about them again, but… damn it, they're _here_. I never wanted that topic to be drudged up."

Kanda moved closer to the agonized teenager and said, "You've survived without them all this time. You don't need them… all that matters are the people who you know care about you. Your parents may have given you blood and brought you into this world, but they did nothing to make you who you are."

"My parents may not have made me who I am, but it's because of the people here that I have the Fourteenth Noah's memories… They've been planning this. I've been following the path they set out for me since the beginning. Mana's damn saying to _keep walking_ was just to make sure I never stopped doing what they wanted me to do! I'm not a goddamned _puppet_. I'm a person… and they don't treat me as such," Allen said, finally beginning to break down and cry.

Kanda sighed, knowing that he was past words of comfort now. He just wrapped up the snow haired teen in his arms and kissed his hair. Gently, he wiped away some of the tears that spilled down his face. It was painful for Kanda to watch this… Allen's suffering never seemed to end. It constantly kept going. Somewhere in that mess, Kanda himself was dragged into it. He was in too deep for his own good, but ultimately, Allen was worth it.

As the boy in his arms ceased his crying, he looked up to Kanda slowly. "I'm sorry… I'm so pathetic, crying like this…"

"No. You're not," Kanda said instantly. "Don't you dare say that."

"It's true… I shouldn't cry. I should just ignore all my emotions and do what's right…"

"Damn it, don't shut down your emotions," Kanda said apprehensively before pulling Allen closer to him and kissing his neck. "If you do, you wouldn't feel this," the samurai whispered as he moved a hand to his cheek. "Or this." With intensity, he moved his lips to meet the pale pink ones. Allen melted into the kiss and softly moaned at the sweet sensation. He couldn't help but move a hand to pull off the hair tie the samurai always wore. When Kanda nibbled on Allen's lower lip, the snow haired teen opened his lips and allowed the samurai's tongue to enter. As Kanda explored Allen's mouth, Allen let his hands tangle in the flowing black hair. An airy moan escaped the dark haired teen at the feeling of hands twisting in his hair. His head had always been rather sensitive.

The two broke apart for air, and Kanda snaked his hands around Allen's waist, drawing him closer. "Do you still want to ignore your emotions?" he asked breathlessly.

Allen decided he absolutely couldn't get enough of that tone from Kanda. "No," he replied, closing his eyes and leaning into Kanda's chest.

"Good, baka moyashi. I don't want you to," he responded, leaning back to lie down on the couch, pulling Allen on top of him. He softly planted a kiss on his forehead before wrapping his arms around the smaller teen tighter than before.

They both listened to each other's breathing and started to drift off. Then Kanda remembered the last time he felt so calm… and that had been when he was listening to Allen's singing.

"Will you sing for me?" Kanda requested in a whisper.

Allen opened his eyes and blinked a few times. "You want me to sing? Sing what?"

"The song to the ark," he answered quietly. "I heard you sing it in your hospital room once."

Allen smiled shyly before closing his eyes and taking a breath. "I'll do it," he said. He started singing quietly out of nervousness, but as his confidence grew, so did the volume. The song had the same relaxing effects as it did earlier, but this one was meant for _Kanda_, and he found that this time was sweeter.

He was known for disliking sweet things, but this was something different… softer. It wasn't a sugar kind of sweet. It was Allen's sweetness that he found was beautifully addicting. The softness in Allen's tone was breathtaking, and Kanda realized that he loved how Allen made him… how Allen had changed him. Before the beansprout came to the Black Order, Kanda had been ultimately alone in a cruel, ugly world. Since the snow haired teen returned from being missing, Kanda realized that he could see beauty in the ugly world, and he didn't have to be alone.

When Allen's singing concluded, Kanda let a smile overtake his features. When Allen opened his eyes and saw the once in a lifetime look on the samurai's face, he returned with a smile of his own. "You should smile more often," Allen said, amazed at the fact that _he_ had been the one to put that smile there.

"You should sing more often," Kanda said before he closed his eyes and the smile dissipated.

"I will if it makes you smile," Allen said as he relaxed on Kanda.

Together, the two of them drifted off into a peaceful dreamless sleep.

…

Allen woke up, but didn't want to open his eyes. It felt so amazing to feel strong arms wrapped around him, and if they both got up, they would have to face the day. The younger teen just wanted to stay there for a little bit longer. As he looked up to see Kanda's sleeping face, he realized just how different their relationship was since the fiasco with the innocence. Before it, they kept secrets from one another.

Now, there was only one secret left… and that would be what Cross told him before he "died." Allen was surprised that Kanda hadn't brought it up.

Allen's heart clenched as he thought about killing someone he cared about because now, there was a definite person in mind. He couldn't allow the Fourteenth to take over if it meant that he would kill Kanda… Allen would never be able to live with himself if that happened. He would slowly rot away from the inside and die. Now that he opened the door to his dark thoughts, they were overflowing.

The younger teen took one last look at Kanda before deciding that he had to get more answers, this time, without the samurai's presence. As much as he hated leaving him to wake up alone, Allen _needed_ to do this.

Slowly, he shifted around to stand up without alerting Kanda to his movements. The last thing he needed was for him to wake up before he had the information he so desperately craved. When he finally was able to stand, he quietly walked to the bathroom to make sure he looked presentable. After he fixed his hair, he made his way to the door, thankful that the floors weren't creaky.

When the door closed with a soft click, Allen knew he was safe. Briskly, he walked down the dark hallway towards Phoenix Gallamore's office. After a few minutes of being utterly lost, he succeeded in finding the office. He tapped the door a few times and waited for someone to open it.

The door opened, and revealed Riona. "Oh, hello again! My dad thought you already left. Come right in," she said, opening it wide. "Where's your bodyguard?"

"He's still sleeping. I've decided I can handle my own here," Allen replied swiftly. "Anyway, I need to speak to Mr. Gallamore immediately. It's important."

"Okay, come on. My dad isn't doing anything but paperwork right now," the blonde said cheerfully as she led him down the short hallway.

When they entered, Phoenix looked up at Allen through glasses. "Hello, Allen. I would have thought you left by now," he greeted with a smile.

"I need some answers," Allen stated, crossing his arms. "Cross told me something about the Fourteenth before he was attacked by Apocryphos. He said that I would have to kill someone I care about when I became the Noah. Is this true?"

The science chief looked down to his paperwork again with a sigh. He took off his glasses and stood with a sad look on his face. "It hasn't exactly been proven, it's more of a rumor. The Noah don't remember when they first transform… or immediately after. It's very vague… and usually, during the transformation, they can't tell what's real, or what is just the memories from the Noah. Generally, they kill the people around them," Phoenix said darkly.

"How can I prevent this from happening? Is there any way to put the memories into somebody else before I'm gone? I can't be the Fourteenth. I have my own life to live," Allen said nervously.

Phoenix looked very uncomfortable as he replied, "It doesn't work that way. The memories have already started, so they won't stop now. Besides that, even if we could transfer them, you're the only one who knows… Not even Road knows all of it. You're the only one who could pass them along, which would already require you to be the Fourteenth."

"There has to be _something_! I can't hurt anyone… I just can't! That would destroy me," the teen said with unbearable panic gripping at his heart.

"There… is something you can do," Phoenix answered with an anxious gaze to the floor.

"What? I'll do anything." Allen was shocked at the surprising amount of desperation in his tone.

"You could learn how to bond with the Noah. You can learn to tap his memories on your own, you could learn how to _be_ him without letting go of yourself. You learned how to bond with your innocence… so why not the Noah as well? We can help you here at the White Order, but the Black Order lacks the resources and knowledge we possess. It is possible," Gallamore answered grimly. "I didn't want to tell you this unless you already agreed to stay here, but… you asked, and I can't let you suffer…"

Allen's eyes went wide. "I could… bond with the Fourteenth?" He was hesitant to believe the news he'd been wanting all along was true, because if he found out it wasn't, he would have gotten his hopes up. The snow haired teen didn't want that impact if he found out it really wasn't possible…

"You can. Road says she knows how to help… she is one with her Noah," Phoenix said carefully.

"How does that work, exactly?" Allen asked hesitantly, still not wanting his hopes to rise, even if there was proof it was achievable.

"It's like the two of them, Road Kamelot and the Ninth Noah, have merged to become one person. That can happen with you and the Fourteenth," Phoenix responded with a sense of urgency.

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?" Allen asked with fear pounding in his heart.

"You can stay here and talk to Road… I know that we're asking for a lot of your trust, and we don't deserve it, but… Please, let us help you. Have faith in us. Take a chance, and we can do better for the world together," the chief said with a serious look in his brown eyes. "I give you my word that our intentions are pure."

Allen took a deep breath before nodding. "I'll trust you," he said at last. "I'll stay here… I'll leave my home. I want only one thing in return."

Phoenix nodded and asked, "What is it?"

"You tell me who my parents are. I'll do whatever you want, I just need to know. I won't say anything, I won't talk to them… but I've always wondered who they are, what they looked like. Please," Allen pleaded softly, now trying to hold back tears.

Phoenix Gallamore swallowed hardly before responding. "Your parents are Nadia and Eric Chancellor… Your mother, Nadia, is a very powerful axinite. Your father is an onyx. They asked me not to tell you who they were because they told me that you probably wouldn't want to know them…"

Allen didn't say anything as he thought about their names. They didn't sound anything like he was imagining, but then again, nothing ever went the way he expected it to. It was nice to have their names at the very least… "Thank you," he said as he flashed one of his signature fake smiles. "I need to go back to the Black Order… I need to tell them myself why I'm leaving. That has to be done in person. It probably won't go over very well with Central. Is it possible for you to give me a few escorts?" Allen asked, cringing at the thought of what Central would do.

"That won't be a problem. I'll have Thomas form a group of onyxes and silvers. Timcanpy will also go… we can monitor your safety through him, too. I'll speak to Cross about that. In the meantime, you should go and eat breakfast," Phoenix said with a smile. "It's good to have you with us, Allen Walker."

The snow haired teen just smiled before he said, "Thank you. I'll be on my way now."

With uneasiness gripping at his heart, he left the room, saying bye to Riona on the way out. When he opened the door, he nearly ran straight into a very pissed off samurai.

"What the hell, baka moyashi?" Kanda sneered, grabbing one arm and pulling him into the hallway. As Allen was being pulled, he unintentionally closed the door behind him.

"Kanda… I'm sorry! Look, I just…"

"You just what?" Kanda asked, looking like he wanted to punch something. His fists were clenched, and there was something in his eyes that made Allen freeze up.

"I… Kanda, can we, um… go somewhere else?" the snow haired teen asked, really not wanting to explain this where others could overhear.

Kanda got the message, and quickly walked back to their room. Anger radiated from him, and Allen decided he really must have screwed up. Guilt came crashing down on him like lead. Finally, when they reached their room, Kanda let Allen in first before slamming the door. "Explain," he demanded.

"I'm sorry! It's just… I needed to clear the air about something with Gallamore. Cross told me something before he disappeared that put me in a really bad place. Gallamore explained it to me, and now, I know there isn't anything to worry about…" Allen rambled, very nervous at upsetting the samurai even more.

"What _was_ it?" he asked, his eyes looking straight into Allen's, unsettling him even more.

"Cross told me that when I became the Fourteenth, I would end up killing someone I cared about," the snow haired teen said sadly. Allen returned Kanda's intense gaze, and he watched as realization dawned on him. Immediately, his features softened and he nodded.

"I was worried, baka. I woke up and you were gone," he said, turning away from him.

Allen reached for Kanda's hand. "I'm sorry. But I found out that there's a way to stop that from happening. I agreed to stay here at the White Order so they can help me. I also found out the names of my parents," he said in a genuine apologetic tone. "I should have told you where I was going… I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, baka moyashi. Just don't do it again," Kanda said, turning around to face Allen once more.

"Okay, I promise I won't," the younger teen said honestly. "I didn't think I would scare you that much."

"Tch, whatever. Let's go and eat," he replied sharply, still angry with Allen, but the snow haired teen knew it would eventually wear off.

Together, they went to the dining hall, and Allen filled Kanda in on the trip to the Black Order. He protested about the extra escorts all through their meal, but stopped when a young girl with reddish brown hair came up to Allen.

"Hello!" she said cheerfully. "I'm Natasha. My mommy told me to welcome you to our home! Here, take this. I made it for you." She handed Allen a drawing. It had a mother, a father, and three children. Two boys, one girl. "See, that's me," she said, pointing to the little girl. "That's Chris, and that one is you! Mommy and daddy are here, too."

Kanda just stared at the girl, and Allen's eyes went wide. Allen knew the names of his parents, but Gallamore hadn't disclosed anything more than their jobs. Did he have siblings? That thought never occurred to him. When he looked down at the girl, he noted the hair color, because his had been that same shade before he was cursed. Her eyes were a dark, stormy gray, and Allen had no clue what to do.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it?" Natasha asked with a childish disheartened tone.

"No, no, I love it!" he said quickly. "Um, how old are you and Chris?"

"I'm seven. Chris is thirteen," she replied, now cheerful again.

"Thanks for the picture," Allen said with a smile. "You should go back to your parents before they get worried, okay?"

"Okay. Bye-bye, Allen!" she said cheerfully as she skipped off to another table across the room. When the little girl sat down, she was surrounded by a boy who he assumed was Chris, and a woman with dark red hair. There was no father around, but Allen realized he could be looking at his mother.

"Oi, moyashi, are you alright?" Kanda's voice demanded his attention.

"Uh, yeah… I think that she might be my sister," Allen said softly, looking down at his food. Suddenly, he wasn't hungry anymore. His insides were doing flips. The idea of having a brother and a sister was just too new, too strange. Allen had grown up being very alone, save for Cross and Mana. He was always the only child, and thinking he had siblings was just way too much for him to process.

"Tch, I know. How do you feel about that?" the samurai asked before taking a bite of his soba.

"I don't know," Allen said halfheartedly. "I've always been so… alone. The idea of siblings seems so strange." He took a bite of one of the many dishes before him and chewed slowly. His appetite died, but he knew he needed the energy.

Kanda just sighed and drank his tea. There wasn't much he could say to that, and Allen knew. The samurai never had siblings, at least that he mentioned, but he did grow up at the Order. That meant he knew what it was like to at least be around other people from an early age.

Allen realized he didn't know much about Kanda or his past. Kanda himself never spoke of anything personal unless it was about Allen. Curiosity began to eat away at him. It was only fair if he knew everything about Kanda since he knew everything about the snow haired teen. Something, though, told Allen that this wasn't the time or place.

They finished eating, and met up with Thomas, two onyxes, two silvers, and… Cross. Allen about threw a fit that Cross would be coming with him, because if Central wasn't going to be pissed about Allen leaving, they were going to be downright _furious_ now. Nonetheless, Cross insisted that he go with them. By the end of the argument, the only thing Allen won was his own compartment in the train that he would share with Kanda. Their group made their way to the station quickly and boarded.

As Allen leaned back in the compartment, he sighed. This was going to be one long day.

* * *

Gah. I hate how many OCs are in this, even if they are necessary. :( I promise I won't make it involve them too much!

**Review, please!**


	10. Hatred

Hey guys! So some people have been asking about when exactly this takes place, so I'm going to give you a timeline...

Allen's mission (the one at the beginning) takes place two weeks after Cross's "death." He was held captive for 6 weeks at the White Order. Two weeks after that, Allen and Kanda went on the mission in Germany. The stuff with the Phantom Thief G has happened, but Allen wasn't involved since he was missing. The Third Exorcists haven't been introduced. They won't be a big deal. I'm stretching the time between the Third Exorcists and the Alma Karma arc (which will happen later.)

Hope that clears some things up!

**Cana99: **Thank you so much for the internet cookies! I'm so happy you love this story. Oh, and don't hate me for what's about to happen. *Hides in a corner.*

**xxDarkSecretxx: **I'm so glad I make your day. You really make mine by reviewing! It means so much to me. Thanks for reassuring me about my OCs. I hate them... but I love them. Lol, I make absolutely no sense.

**TearsDrippingDown: **I updated. :) Lol, I'm sorry this one wasn't that quick, but... there was a reason for that.

**Mad Hatter Usagi: **You get to see a little bit of Allen's family here. Thanks for saying that the Yullen in the last chapter was in depth. I was trying to have a different approach on how things happened, so it was nice to get that compliment. Allen switching over should make you nervous. Oh, and if Allen does merge with Neah, you have every reason to be nervous about that, too. Eep. You'll find out what happens in this chapter when the White Order reveals something crazy. Also, you'll find out what happens with Kanda.

**AllenMoyashiWalker: **I'm so happy you're enjoying this.

**SnarkyWolf: **I was hoping nobody would notice how odd it was. I guess it's cool that someone caught it. You'll find out why it's so... suspicious. Oh, and you're welcome for me punching Cross... I think somebody should have. xD Oh... you ask all the right questions. You'll see if Kanda stays with Allen in this chapter. Also, I hope the timeline above explained why Allen doesn't know about Alma.

**metiko: **It should look a little suspicious. Allen and Kanda were so sweet in the last chapter. Oh, and you'll see soon whether or not Kanda stays with Allen.

**YourLuckyWish: **YES! THEY DID! Yeah, even I was fangirl squealing about that... I'm such a geek. And you're welcome!

**jasdevi's secret sissy: **Yes, he is... Trust me, it's so weird to write.

**AliceXxX: **More is available!

**Yullen3: **Um... I've updated!

**xFullmetalSoulx: **That's interesting. I love going to the zoo. I'm glad you thought the Yullen in the last chapter was adorable. Jeez... you know, I guess I can't make anything easy for Allen...

**silvereyes120: **Thanks for your review. I love where this story is going, too. :)

**Sarekkandarikulover:** You'll see Lavi and Lenalee. Link... well, he's from Central, so... yeah. He wasn't involved. Nobody will fight, exactly, to keep Allen... Oh, and you also will see some brotherly bonding here. I'm glad you're happy with this story!

Nobody hate me for this! The Yullen is just so intense here.

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 10- Hatred

The entire train ride was in heavy silence. Allen and Kanda hadn't said anything to each other since they got their own compartment. Kanda was still pissed off about earlier, and Allen was feeling miserable. He hadn't told Kanda that he wanted him to stay at the Black Order. It was clear to him that Kanda would hate the idea, but Allen wasn't about to back down. He didn't want Kana anywhere close to the White Order while he was trying to merge with the Fourteenth. If something went wrong, Allen couldn't ever forgive himself if he harmed Kanda in any way. No matter what it took, the white haired teen was going to keep him away, even if it meant hurting his feelings. It was for his own good, after all.

The train ride felt like an eternity, and Kanda still hadn't said anything to him. If it was going to be that way, fine. Allen didn't want to talk, either, because then, he could let his plan slip and give in to Kanda. The samurai was the young teen's ultimate weakness, he decided. It was dangerous to keep him too close.

Finally at long last, they arrived at the station.

"Oi, stupid apprentice," Cross said as they exited the train.

"What?" Allen grumbled, not wanting to talk to him.

"This is as far as I go," he said. "You take Timcanpy with you. I have an assignment to take care of."

Allen clenched his fists as he tried to control his anger. "You seriously let me believe you were going with us?" he asked, irritation laced in his tone.

"It's fun to mess with you," Cross said with his signature smirk.

It reminded him painfully of when Kanda told him the same thing. It only made what he was about to do worse.

"Get going, then," Allen said. "Just be careful."

"You too, stupid apprentice," Cross said genuinely before turning on his heels and disappearing into the trees.

Allen let a sigh loose as they all walked towards the Order. They all kept silent and on guard. The doors opened, and showed Komui, Lenalee, Lavi, and Bookman. "Welcome home, Allen!" Lenalee said, running up to hug him.

She stopped when Thomas stepped in front of Allen. "Thomas, it's okay," he said, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Allen… what's going on?" Lenalee looked extremely confused. Her gaze flickered between the escorts, Allen, and Kanda.

The more the white haired teen thought about it, it made more sense for them to stay outside for this conversation. "I came to say goodbye," he said calmly. "I'm moving to the White Order, even if the Black Order brands me a traitor. They have knowledge I need. With them, I can learn to control the Fourteenth and his powers without losing myself… and that way, I can't hurt any of you."

Lenalee began to tear up, and Lavi stepped forward to reassure her. "Lavi," Bookman warned.

"Leave me alone, panda," Lavi said as he hugged her.

Surprisingly enough, Komui turned a blind eye. His gaze lingered only on Allen.

"You understand I can only do so much to protect you," Komui stated, crossing his arms.

"I know, Komui. Thank you. I'll see you again someday," he promised with a genuine smile. "I'm sorry I can't stay here anymore. I just don't want to see any of you hurt."

He told the guards to go back, and Komui and the others went inside. Soon, it was only Kanda and Allen standing together in the warm glow of sunset. Allen wished he was anywhere but there. "Kanda," he started. "Go inside the Black Order."

"No," the samurai answered immediately. "I'm going to stay with you."

"I don't want you to," Allen responded quickly. "I want to do this alone. There is no danger at the White Order for me, they're trustworthy. I need to be clear of any and all distractions. That means you." _I hate this_. Kanda's cobalt blue eyes stared at him with an unreadable expression.

"They aren't worth your trust. They are still hiding something," Kanda said, grabbing Allen's arms tightly. "You aren't that much of an idiot, are you?"

The white haired teen pushed him away roughly. "They aren't the only ones who are hiding something," he spat. _I hate myself._ "You haven't even said a damn thing about your past. You know _everything_ about me, but yet, I don't know _anything_ about you. How can I trust you when I know for a fact you don't trust me?" Allen looked into the samurai's eyes and saw nothing but bitter coldness in them.

"Fine. _Go._ When they betray you, you'll regret walking away," Kanda stated, gripping Mugen and walking back.

It hurt every fiber of Allen's being to watch him go. It was extremely painful for him because he knew that Kanda was hurt by what happened. It hurt so much that he had to hurt him. As he walked back towards the station, his heart hurt. Even if it had been for Kanda's own good, it really hadn't been for Allen's. Being alone again felt far worse than any of the times before it. Kanda was special, and Allen _had_ to let him go to protect him. Perhaps Allen was condemned to die alone.

With a heavy heart, he made his way to the White Order with his team of escorts.

…

The first week was nice. Allen was allowed contact with his parents and met them in person. As it turned out, the little girl he met, Natasha, was his sister, and Chris was his brother. He spent time with them without talking at all to his parents. They looked genuinely sorry, but Allen didn't buy it. All he did was befriend his siblings because they had nothing to do with his abandonment.

The second week was when things got harder. Road paid a visit to the HQ and explained how to merge with the Fourteenth, more commonly known as Neah. She didn't stay long, and only told him to start going to the science lab regularly. During those daily lab visits, Gallamore tried to teach him how to tap Neah's memories and powers.

The third week was when things got complicating.

…

"Focus!" barked Gallamore's voice.

Allen sighed as he closed his eyes once more and relaxed on the hospital bed. He tried to call for Neah in his head any way he could… he tried focusing on the lyrics to the arc, he tried focusing hatred on innocence, he tried _everything_, but no matter what he thought of, somehow the samurai he hurt kept resurfacing. The image always derailed all thoughts about Neah and thwarted any attempt at merging.

These meetings were beginning to stretch on for hours and hours. They were more strenuous than Allen ever imagined. It was taxing on his mind to continuously call out for something he was terrified of… and the events that went down with Kanda weighed heavier than lead. He wasn't sleeping at night because of it, and Allen felt hopeless.

He was faking a lot more than he recalled ever doing. The loneliness was agonizing, and the growing darkness in Allen's soul should have made it easier on the Fourteenth to take control, but it wasn't. The Noah seemed even further away than before, ironically enough. When Allen finally had the nerve to suggest torture… he found out that's how the Noah swallows its host.

"Dammit, Walker, you're not trying hard enough!" Gallamore shouted at him. "Do you even really want to win? You've lost your fire! You aren't fighting for it, you aren't even attempting to connect with him!"

"I'm sorry," Allen stated miserably. "I can't do this. I'm destined to lose to Neah…"

"Where did your passion go? You are allowing yourself to die. _Fight_ to live. _Fight_ to see another day. _Fight!_" Phoenix said, slamming down his clipboard. He grabbed Allen's neck with one hand. "What happened to make you lose your hope? You were the one who asked for this, but now it seems like you're the last person who wants to be here."

As the hand on his throat eased, Allen said, "I don't know."

"Then you can pack your bags and go. You don't have any fight left in you, and if you won't explain why, then we have no use for you," he said harshly. Then his features softened as he added, "We want to help you, and you aren't letting us."

Allen's eyes stung, and before he knew it, he was sobbing and crying. "I left everyone at my home. They all probably hate me, and… to let one of them go, I had to lie and hurt them. I regret what I did so much, but they wouldn't let me go here otherwise. I know I need to do this alone, but… I hate being alone."

The older man just sighed as he hugged the young teen. "Thanks for finally opening up, Allen."

The young boy just cried and cried without letting up. The science chief decided to reassure and comfort him as best he could.

…

Kanda had been in the training room for twenty four hours straight now. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he sliced, jabbed, jumped, and punched. He didn't want to stop moving because he always thought of that damned beansprout whenever there wasn't something else on his mind.

The training room became his sanctuary. He spent all his time in there. He scarcely remembered to eat… he didn't even sleep. The samurai couldn't sleep at all because that's when thoughts of the fucking annoying white haired teen crept up and toyed with all of his emotions. It was so much easier not to care, not to think. Every time that door was opened, it took too much effort to close it back up.

When Kanda was sent out on missions, he didn't really talk to anyone. When he did, it was almost always an insult or a death threat. Nobody could ever get through to him, not even Lenalee. Practically everyone was heartbroken over what happened with Allen, but everyone was curious about Kanda.

Lavi, in particular, began to follow Kanda everywhere he went. When he decided to train in the woods outside of the Order, the stupid rabbit followed. He tried relentlessly to talk to him, get him to open up, but Kanda kept his mouth shut and ignored him. One day, when Lenalee went to talk to him, he decided to listen to what she had to say.

"Kanda… what did Allen say to you? I know you're deeply hurt by it. Don't try to lie and evade me… you know I know you better than that. So please, tell me what's bothering you so much. I can try to help," she said sincerely, looking at him with pleading eyes.

"He pushed me away, and that's all you need to know," Kanda said, looking anywhere but her. "I don't want to talk about what happened. You don't need to know," he had said.

That day had been the first day he spent entirely training. Since then, it became common for him to stay either outside in the forest or inside the training room. He avoided people like the plague, and only ate when he deemed it absolutely necessary.

He was starting to feel light-headed after he dropped his sword. The last time he ate had to be sometime the day before, but he didn't remember, exactly. Days all blended together when he did the same thing day after day. Instead of picking up his sword and heading to the dining hall, he laid down on the matted floor.

When he closed his eyes, memories of Allen appeared. He remembered how strange it was to read his mind, to have every thought be shared between them. It was burned in his memory, seeing him so scared when he woke up deaf. He couldn't help but remember how terrified Allen had been the night they returned from the mission only to see officials from the White Order. He remembered everything that happened while they were there until finally, pain filled his entire being as he recalled the words they parted on.

Allen wanted to go, and even if those words had been a lie, they hurt. It was incredibly more painful than anything he ever experienced… and he hated himself for it. Everything that happened, he hated himself for. There had been no way to keep Allen from the White Order. It was his choice, and Kanda would never take that away from him, no matter what. He knew what it was like to have everything set out for you.

That didn't mean he didn't hate it. Every second of the past few weeks, he was terrified something happened to the younger teen. He took out all of his frustrations on whatever was around him because that was the only way to let it go for a short amount of time. The training, the fighting, the physical activity always felt better, but ultimately didn't keep the feelings and memories at bay for long.

When they flooded back again, his mind showed him the worst case scenario… Allen completely gone and out of his grasp. A tear fell out of his eye as he imagined him as the Fourteenth. The thought of Allen being truly gone was more painful than any wound he could ever receive because now, he was too close. His heart had entered the battlefield at long last, and he wished that it never did.

Allen didn't want him around, which meant that his emotions were stuck there. He couldn't shove them away, he couldn't ignore them, they were _there_. As agonized as he felt, he knew that if Allen ever showed up, he would forgive him within ten seconds flat. It was so stupid, but he missed him.

Their kiss so many nights before still plagued him. It was such a wonderful moment when it happened, but now, it was as if it faded to black. It was only a painful reminder of what happened the next day.

Kanda needed to punch something. He needed to do something, _anything_ to distract him from Allen. He stood, but the light-headedness became too much to bear, and he collapsed back down to the floor.

When he came around, he found that he was in the infirmary. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was Komui's face, and that only worsened his mood.

"Kanda," he said with a sad seriousness.

"What?" the samurai grumbled back.

"Tell me what happened between you and Allen, _now_," he ordered. "I know there's something different about you two. Anything we talk about in here will be kept secret from Central."

Kanda looked up at the ceiling and thought about what he should do. In the end, he decided to just confess… Komui wouldn't leave him alone otherwise, and perhaps it would be better to talk to someone. "I don't know how to describe the relationship, Komui. Since the mission in Germany, Allen and I kept getting closer. We kissed once," he said, uncomfortable with the topic, but thankful he knew Komui wouldn't say anything.

"I see. So why did you come back? Why didn't you stay with him at the White Order?"

"He didn't want me to. He made up excuses and lies to leave," Kanda stated, trying to keep how hurt he felt from entering his tone.

"If you knew they were lies, then why did you let him go?" Komui asked, pushing his glasses up and leaning forward. "He could very well be in danger over there."

Kanda clenched his fists as he said, "He wanted to push me away. He succeeded. He proved to me that he was going to do anything to keep me away."

"He hurt your feelings. Kanda, you should do what is best for him," Komui said softly. "He may be in a very bad place because of what he did to you. You know him. You should go find him and make sure he's safe."

"You're suggesting I leave the Order?" Kanda asked with an intense gaze.

"I'm suggesting you go protect somebody you care about. That should be all that matters to you," Komui answered grimly. "You're Allen's only hope, you know. He needs someone who wants him for _him_ and not the Noah inside him or the innocence embedded in his arm. He needs _you._"

"He doesn't want me," Kanda stated, wishing this conversation was over. Talking to Komui wasn't getting him anywhere. If anything, it was making it worse.

"And just how long are you going to hold that against him? Do you even know what Cross told him before he died?" Komui asked angrily.

"Yes. I do. He told me that he would have to kill someone he cares about if the Fourteenth took control," the samurai said with a dark gaze. "But that doesn't change the fact that he chose this."

"He's only worried about you. That's why he sent you away. You're just too stuck on the fact that he doesn't want you there to see just how much he _does_ want you there," Komui said furiously. "I'm so sick of seeing him hurt. Aren't you?"

That struck a chord with Kanda. He stood up in a fit of rage and grabbed Komui's shirt. "Don't you dare ask me that. Of course I am! I just don't know how to help him when he pushes me away!"

"I'm telling you to go to him," Komui said, putting a hand on Kanda's. "He's suffered so much… don't make him endure this on his own."

"I can't go to him. This was his choice. I have to respect that," Kanda said, dropping Komui when he let go of his shirt. "If he shows up, I'll forgive him."

Komui just looked down. "I hope it isn't already too late." He left the room leaving Kanda so conflicted.

With a heavy sigh, Kanda left the room, too, and headed straight for the dining hall.

…

Allen laid down in his bed, tossing and turning. After his session with Gallamore, he felt better, but at the same time, worse. The one thing he knew was that he was exhausted, and wouldn't sleep. All he could think about was Kanda.

He continuously tossed and turned all through the night, thinking of the samurai in a half conscious state. When the sun rose through his window, he sat up and sighed. Kanda wouldn't appreciate him acting so pathetic. He needed to fight. After all, that had been a promise he made to Kanda. Allen wouldn't disappoint him. Today would be the day where he merged with Neah.

Quickly, he stood up and got dressed. He was given an onyx uniform the other day and was hesitant to wear it until now. He put on a black snug tank top and the battle-made black pants. Allen put on the jacket with black and silver silk lining. It had a hood and was customized to him. The uniform actually felt a bit better than the Black Order's had.

The cloak and mask that came with it were left inside his closet. He would only need those if he decided to leave the headquarters, which he found out was in Belgium. Feeling much better since he let things off his chest the other day, he walked to the room his family was in.

Quietly, he knocked a few times.

The door opened shortly, revealing his mother. "Hello, Allen," she said sadly. Her soft, curly red hair framed her face, and she looked very beautiful. Every time that same face greeted Allen, there was no denying she was his mother. She always looked sad whenever she saw him, like she regretted what happened to him.

"So Allen, would you like breakfast with us? Eric is already out, so it will just be me, you, and the kids. They're still asleep," Nadia said with a sweet smile.

"Uh… sure. Sorry, I didn't realize it was so early. Do you want some help?" Allen offered uncomfortably.

"That would be great," she replied.

Together, they worked on making a ton of scrambled eggs and ham. It didn't take long for Natasha to wake up to the smell of food, and she woke up Chris. For the most part, they all were very accepting of Allen. Natasha adored him, Chris seemed to enjoy his company. They all ate breakfast together, and for the first time in his life, Allen felt like he was a part of an actual family. The feeling was kind of nice, and he decided he could work on forgiving his mother, and eventually, his father.

"So what are you going to do today, Allen?" Chris asked as he grabbed for another piece of toast.

"I'm going to try and merge with Neah," he answered with a smile.

"Do you think you could help me train with my innocence before that, though?" he asked, glancing at his crossbow.

"I'll help you. Let's finish breakfast first, okay?" Allen suggested.

"No fair! Chris gets to spend all his time with Allen," Natasha pouted.

"Now, Natasha, don't be whiny. Allen's helping Chris with his innocence, okay? That's important," Nadia said, scolding her young daughter.

The sheer normalcy of the situation was weird for the white haired teen to deal with. Never before had he been at a family breakfast with people fighting for his attention. He finished his breakfast in silence. After he was done, he played with Natasha for an hour or so before heading to the training rooms with Chris for target practice.

Allen offered up all the help he could, but he himself used a sword, nothing that would require such an acute sense of aim. His advice was mostly out of guessing, but it still made Chris smile, so Allen was happy. He spent a few hours there before he knew he had to get to his appointment with Gallamore.

When he arrived at the room they usually met in, he heard something.

"—hasn't made any improvements," one unrecognizable voice said.

"He might get better," Gallamore said.

"So you've been saying. Look, if he doesn't merge with Neah, then we _need_ to try to force him to take control. Tell him the truth about his parents… see if it puts enough internal turmoil to bring forth Neah," the voice said.

"How can you say that, Eric? You said you'd take him in as you're son. He doesn't need to know that his father is actually Neah…" Phoenix said, sounding desperate. "It could be why Neah's avoiding taking control. He doesn't want to harm his son…"

"I have no interest in trying to comfort Neah. He needs to take back control… of this Order, of the entire operation against the Earl, and of Allen's body," Eric, Allen's supposed father, said.

Allen couldn't accept what he was hearing. He ran the opposite direction from the room, not caring about how loud he was. The only thing he could think about was that Kanda had been absolutely right; they were definitely hiding something. His dad had been Neah all along… He didn't understand anything.

"Wait! Allen!" Phoenix shouted from behind him.

Using all his speed, he ran out of the White Order. His breathing was out of control, and rage filled him. He hated Kanda… he hated that he was right, that he was away, that everything was so fucking wrong.

When Allen ran into a forest to hide, he realized that it wasn't really Kanda he hated for this. It was himself. He hated that he trusted them, even when everybody told him not to. Allen wasn't the type to abandon anything, and he wanted so badly to give them a second chance. He hated himself for being so predictable, for being so vulnerable.

He didn't care if the lie was small… it was enough to prove to him that Kanda was always right. Thinking of Kanda brought back the world of pain he had been trying to get through.

Allen owed him an apology. It was about damn time he gave it, too, because Allen was such a fool. He still allowed himself to be a pawn for those people. There was only so much he could take, and it all came crashing down on him right then and there.

It was all his fault.

There was no one to blame anymore. He chose to go there in the first place, he chose to stay there, and he chose to leave Kanda.

Now he was left without a home and without anybody on his side. The deception, the lies, all of them had sucked him in while the truth hadn't. That was on him. He was utterly alone in this world. Maybe he was better off without anyone. Nobody was worth trusting.

_Except Kanda_.

Kanda hadn't told him he wasn't welcome to come back, but Allen didn't feel like he was worth it anymore. There was one thing left Allen needed to do. It was to apologize, but it was more than that... it was to release him of his promise.

The samurai would be so much better off without feeling obligated to him.

With a determined gaze, he opened up the ark. It took a lot more energy to _summon_ it to him, but it worked. He stepped inside it and took the path to the Black Order headquarters.

When he got there, he had no idea what the hell he'd stepped into.

* * *

Okay, don't hate me. This story started out with a darker vibe, and I kind of wanted to get back to that. I would love to hear your opinions on this. Please **review.**


	11. Broken

Hello readers. I have some "meh" news to share with you. I pulled the tendon in my thumb, so I've had to wear a wrist brace on my right hand. Typing this was SOOOOOOOO awkward. On top of all that, I don't know how I feel about this chapter because it's so close to the manga that I wanted to pull my hair out. Gah. Oh, and I think I'm addicted to tumblr now.

OH YEAH! Jeez, I can't believe I almost forgot this. HOLY CRAP, YOU GUYS BROKE A HUNDRED REVIEWS! The day that happened, I was freaking out and hyperventilating because I didn't even realize how close we were to a hundred until it was already broken. xD THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Now, on to replies. :)

**AllenMoyashiWalker: **Thanks for your review! I'm glad you thought it was great.

**Guest: **I'm glad you were surprised by the previous chapter! I updated as soon as I could. :) Enjoy.

**xFullmetalSoulx:** I'm glad you think Kanda at least is in character. For some reason, I find it really hard to write Allen... Meh, oh well. My lips are sealed as to what will happen later, so... hehe.

**xxDarkSecretxx: **I'm glad you think it was dark and intense. I really wanted to get back to the feel it started out with, because their relationship was progressing even faster than I anticipated. Oh, and you're right. Allen does need Kanda right now, but... well, you'll see. :3

**MadHatterUsagi: **You will find out who Allen's mother is in this chappie. I have to say, your first word/sentence made me crack up so hard. Lol, you have no idea how happy it makes me that I make you lose your mind with every chapter. This has got to be one of the best reviews I've ever received. THANK YOU!

**YourLuckyWish:** Lol, that's an interesting story. My parents have done that to me... a lot. xD I'm so happy you fangirl over this story! EEP! (There. I'm squealing too.)

**jasdevi's secret sissy: **I'm thinking of killing him off by the end. Or maybe not. I don't know.

**metiko: **I'm glad you think that Kanda is acting in character! I personally think that he would really act that way, whereas I have no idea at all how Allen would act, honestly... Jeez, what makes it so hard to write Allen for me? Gah.

**TearsDrippingDown: **This is what happens next. :P Oh, and I'm very pleased that you like the darker vibe. I like it, too.

**silvereyes120:** I would have updated wayyyy sooner if my freaking thumb hadn't been pulled. Sorry this update wasn't that fast.

**architecture of destruction: **Aww... it won't really be Allen's choice, exactly... just read it, you'll understand. :)

**Yullen3:** I'm happy you are so enthusiastic about this story. It always makes me smile.

**negimarules52: **Lol, I'm hearing some wonderful compliments as this story goes on about my story being breakfast, being read at the zoo and a restaurant, and now it being a bedtime story. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!

**YaoiFanGirl:** I updated as soon as I could.

**AliceXxX: **OH MY GOSH, YOU'RE A BANDKID? I LOVE YOU. (I'm in the colorguard at my school. That's how I got my thumb pulled, actually...)

**XDemonXHuntressX: **Thanks for reviewing! I can't believe you took the time to read my story from the beginning, that means so much to me!

**Rin asa uchiha: **You'll have to wait and see who Allen's mom is! Enjoy.

***I don't own D. Gray-man.***

* * *

**Infection**

Chapter 11- Broken

Everything was in chaos. From the bits and pieces of what people said, Allen gathered that the Noah made a simultaneous attack on the Black Order around the world, and everyone who wasn't fighting was in a panic. Since everyone was running around headquarters, nobody really paid him any attention. Allen ran straight to Komui's office. He needed to know where Kanda was, and he needed to know _now_. When he got there, the science chief looked shocked to see Allen, but cautiously looked around before coming up to him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, slightly panicked. He pulled Allen behind a bookshelf to keep them hidden.

"Where is Kanda?" Allen asked, glancing around to make sure nobody spotted him.

"We just received word that he's in the North American branch… Allen, I'm so sorry we can't chat… stay safe," Komui said before running to go back.

Allen wasted no time. He summoned up the ark again and left straight for the North American branch. Before he entered the next gate, he activated his innocence, knowing there would be a fight on the other side.

When he came out of the ark, he jumped up and attacked the Noah in front of him. Somewhere to his right, the Earl said, "You came, Allen Walker."

Allen surveyed the room and noticed the hostages that were there. Bak, Johnny, and Reever were the ones he knew the most... When he saw Leverrier, he looked away quickly and settled his gaze on Kanda. He stood stock still, but he didn't appear to be awake at all. "Kanda?" he asked softly. Nothing. He still didn't move. Something was clearly wrong.

"Hey, boy. Long time, no see," a sadistic voice said from next to him, causing him to stiffen. "We came here to welcome you."

"Welcome me? I'm your enemy, Tyki," Allen replied, tightening his grip around his exorcist sword and preparing to fight.

"Ah, but we know you are the Fourteenth," the Earl said, grabbing Allen's throat and pinning him down. "There's no way you could play the piano without being him."

Suddenly, Allen was ripped from control of his body painfully. "Hello, brother," the Fourteenth said, smiling devilishly. "I knew you'd come. This time, I won't fail… I will kill you and replace you as the next Millennium Earl!" he shouted.

Allen regained control once more and yelled, "No, no, no, _no!_ I am _not_ the Fourteenth!" He felt intense pain and writhed around on the ground. He thought about what Cross told him, and he screamed, "I can't let that happen!"

It took him a few moments to calm down, and when he felt he was ready, he took his time standing up and recovering from the attack from the Noah inside him. When he looked up, Kanda was suddenly standing with his back turned in front of him, Mugen at the ready and pointed at Tyki. Allen said nothing as he looked at him, unable to find words to say what he wanted to. This wasn't the time or place, and he knew it would have to wait, but something told him it would be much, much longer before he could do so.

The Noah were freaking out about Road being "captured" by Kanda. He took her ribbon and tied his hair, but still said nothing to Allen.

Unexpectedly, tubes shot out from a water tank, and everyone had to run.

"Don't you idiots even understand what's going on? Fourteenth… you aren't going back to the Order," a Noah Allen didn't recognize said.

Out of nowhere, a strange looking person was lifted by the tubes he was connected to. At the base of the mess, all of the Noah were gathered. "Allen Walker," the Earl started. "We're giving you the chance to abandon the Order of your own free will. This is your retirement party!" he finished, gesturing to everything around him with open arms.

He thought of how ridiculous it was for him to retire before he asked Kanda, "Who is that up there?"

"I don't know," Kanda answered grimly. He ignored the shocked faces staring at him, and even ignored Allen's. He stared up at the strange looking person wondering about who he was.

Suddenly, the doll in his hands said, "What's with you? It's that failed apostle you killed nine years ago."

Allen had never seen a more frightening look on Kanda's face until then. "He died," the samurai said with malice and hatred. He tightened his grip around Road, and Allen put a hand on his.

"But he was alive!" Road shouted. "He was changed, but he lived. The Order hid him!"

"You want me to crush you?" the samurai threatened, tightening his grip even more.

"They blamed you for killing Alma, and they hid him for nine years, using the holy war as an excuse. On top of that, they implanted the nucleus of an akuma egg in him. He's now a living puppet being devoured by the Black Order." With a loud crunch, Kanda crushed her head. Even after, Road said, "Aren't you happy to see Alma again?"

The doll began to reform, so Kanda took out Mugen and positioned it above the center of her body. A strange sense of panic overcame Allen and he grabbed the sword with his innocence hand. "Calm down, Kanda! You know an attack like that won't work on Road." With a fiery glare sent his way, Kanda slowly moved the sword from the doll. "Don't let her provoke you! They're trying to involve you in some sort of plot! They've caught us, but we still have to help the others! We have to stay focused on that!"

"That's right. If you don't believe this is Alma…then let Alma himself convince you," Road said tauntingly. Suddenly, three eyes appeared on the ground below them.

Vaguely, Allen heard another Noah say, "Remember what I said, Kanda? We're going to use your brain for our party."

"What do you mean?" Kanda shouted, still staring at the eyes below them.

Someone, Allen didn't know who, yelled, "Allen, don't look!"

The next thing he knew, he heard, "Hey, are you awake?" When he opened his eyes, he saw a strange looking boy with thick eyebrows. "If you're awake, raise your hand." _Who is this?_ Allen wondered, staring at him as he raised his hand. The boy began to cry happy tears, but quickly jumped over him. "Yay! I'm so happy! I thought I was all alone!"

Embarrassed that the boy hadn't been talking to him, Allen looked away and sat up. The place he was in was strange, yet… it sort of felt familiar. "Kanda?" he asked, looking around once more.

When he heard, "I heard your name is Yuu!" he froze. All he could think of was, _what the hell?_

"Huh? Me? I'm a bit shy. I'm uh… Alma." Allen looked at the strange boy and saw a hand coming out of a pool of water next to him. "Happy birthday, Yuu!"

Allen swallowed the lump in his throat as he realized… this had to be Kanda's past. He never thought he would experience it… If anything, he figured Kanda would tell him. To actually see it was more than odd.

"Tell the branch director the second one has arrived. Prepare his medication right now!" someone yelled from behind him as Kanda crawled out of the pool naked. Sheepishly, Allen looked away from the child, feeling uncomfortable.

"Dr. Edgar, he needs to dry off! Give him your coat," Alma commanded.

"Are you cold, Yuu?" the older voice said.

When Allen assumed it was safe to look, he gazed at the very beautiful child with long, flowing black hair. He looked unresponsive, and Allen was wondering what all of this meant… and how he got there. Suddenly, arms wrapped around him from behind, startling him. "Seems we've been caught up in Yuu Kanda's brainwaves."

"Road!" Allen yelled, hating that she surprised him so much.

"Heya Allen," she said with a kiss to his cheek. He stiffened before shoving her off.

From there on, Allen saw all the memories he shared with Alma… all the fighting, kicking, punching… He watched it all turn into friendship, and he saw what happened with the forced synchronization. Allen's mind slipped into Kanda's… and when he saw the hallucination of the woman, he found he longed to know more. He too, like Kanda, wanted to find her.

_This world is dark. It's terribly hard to breathe._

Allen watched as the hallucinations of the woman increasingly got worse… something about before the petals fall.

When finally the Order took notice, Alma overheard that they were going to dispose of Kanda. Alma knocked out all the scientists and took Kanda with him on his back. After running decently far away, they were shot down and immobilized by Crows. Kanda fell down over the edge of the building, only to land in ice cold water who knew how many feet below.

He climbed up and over to the edge, back into the Black Order.

Allen recognized Noise Marie and a young Bak Chan sitting there talking. "Only that creep would call this luck!" the little Kanda yelled. When he collapsed onto the floor, he wheezed, "Pull that out, will you?"

"Call the medical team!" Bak shouted in a panic.

"I don't need them! If you pull it out, I'll heal," Kanda said, grabbing Bak's shoe, causing him to trip. "Please, the seal stings."

Bak's eyes widened at the sight of a Crow needle embedded in the shoulder blade of the young boy. Marie bent down and picked him up, gently pulling the needle out. "Will you be alright now?" Kanda turned and looked up to Marie. "What's wrong?"

With nostalgia in his eyes, the boy asked, "You… have we…"

"Have we what?" Marie asked before he realized he was asleep.

"Who is this kid?" Bak wondered aloud, looking down at the boy, trying to remember if he had ever seen him before. Nothing in particular came to mind…

Suddenly, a Crow came from the darkness and said, "Give me that child."

…

It was a beautiful open field with flowers all around. A woman with medium length hair up in an intricate hairstyle and adorned in a flowing gown raced through the plants, looking at him. She said in a calm voice, "Do you know this flower? They're lotus blossoms. They're born in the mud, yet they reach for heaven and fill the world with their fragrance."

Suddenly, the field was empty, and a fearsome akuma showed up. Kanda reached his arm up to the sky and said, "I love… always…"

"Now for the killing blow, exorcist!" the akuma screamed, ready to deliver.

When Kanda woke from the dream, he reached his hand up and said sadly, "I love you." Tears spilled from his cobalt eyes as he recalled what happened to the woman he used to love.

An uncontrollable fit of laughter overcame him as he remembered his life, who he used to be. The woman next to him, Tui, looked over and said something he paid no attention to. All he said was, "You were tricking me, right? The second exorcist plan, artificial apostles? No… they weren't hallucinations… No. You sealed away… you erased… They were all lies! My memories?" Kanda asked incoherently, controlled only by his rage. "An akuma killed me, right? What year is it? How many years passed? What did you do? What did you do to us?"

An older man said, "We're going to begin, Chan."

Excruciating pain coursed through Kanda as seals appeared all beneath his tiny body. He couldn't stop the screams of agony that escaped his throat because the pain was far too intense. "You! Aren't we on the same side?" Kanda screamed in betrayal.

"Innocence is all we have, our only hope! Without you exorcists, we cannot save the world!"

Allen stared at the writhing Kanda, silver eyes widened in horror as he began to feel the agonizing, torturous pain of being destroyed from the inside. This pain was almost worse than when the Noah took control. He had to brace himself on something before he collapsed. "Allen! Allen!" he heard vaguely, too focused on the pain to acknowledge anything else. When lean arms wrapped around him and he felt the smaller body of Road hugging him, but he was still out of focus and distracted by the agonizing pain. "Be strong! Don't forget yourself! Yuu's thoughts will suck you in! Remember, Allen! Remember who you are. You're Allen… Allen Walker!" That brought Allen's attention to her, and the pain he had been feeling died.

"Road?" Allen asked softly, looking down and seeing her dark gray skin and golden eyes.

"Sheesh! You get lost even in here? Focus, this isn't reality! It's Yuu Kanda's memories… these things all happened in the past."

Suddenly, the scene changed, and everything was dark. Alma was covered in blood, muttering something about the innocence being gone. Allen wondered where they were, when Road seemed to read his mind. "It's Alma Karma's memory being influenced by Yuu Kanda's. Wisely is showing it to him, too. He's beginning to wake up," she answered, clinging to Allen's arm like she was nervous.

"Is that your game?" Allen asked seriously, gazing into her liquid golden eyes.

"Allen, I know you care about him, but I could only do so much to protect you, especially after you left the White Order. I can't spare him, and you know that. I'm sorry," she said, putting a hand against his cheek. "I know you know that Neah is your father. Your mother really is Nadia… Neah… well, Neah and I always had a complicated relationship. We've been apart for so long now…" Road said nostalgically. "Anyway, please go back. I've bonded with my Noah, you haven't… and if you don't, Neah will never forgive himself."

The snow haired teen said nothing as he looked back at Alma. He slid down and looked for innocence, before ending up attacked by the Crows. Allen was horrified at the sight of the true bodies of the second exorcists.

"That poor kid," Road said sadly, looking at the horrors around her. "He saw the true bodies of the artificial apostles… After their experiments on non-accommodators failed, for the sake of the Holy War, the Black Order started making accommodators to keep their numbers up. They would transplant the brain of a disabled accommodator into a healthy body to see if their synchronization rate would transfer as well. That was the Second Exorcist Plan."

Allen felt coldness take over his heart as he watched everything… Kanda waking up and saving Noise Marie, dragging him through a ventilation shaft, thinking of the woman he longed to meet and Alma…

_I'll take him… out of here. I don't care about the Order or the war. Anger and hate… I'll swallow it all as long as I'm with him._

He stumbled into the room Alma was in. "Yuu! You're alright!" the boy said with tears in his eyes.

Kanda looked excited as he said, "Alma, I—" He stopped midsentence because he saw what happened… blood was everywhere, splattered on the walls, dripping from Alma's body, spilling from the dozens of scientists around them.

"It's good to see you again, Yuu. I have to kill you now," Alma said eerily, with a vacant look in his eyes.

Marie pulled Kanda away just in time from an attack. Kanda attacked Alma with his own innocence since he finally managed to sync with it. During the attack, Alma said, "Day after day, I waited for my companions to wake up. I kept wondering why they didn't. Ha, but why would they? They don't want to." At this point, it seemed Alma lost his sanity. "I'd talk to them. I must have been such a pest. I'd talk loud, and read books and stuff so I wouldn't run out of things to talk about… Ugh! Have you recovered… your memories?" A menacing glare was sent to Kanda with those final words.

"Is that why you killed them? Edgar, and everyone else in the lab?" Kanda asked, directing his cobalt gaze to the boy standing in front of him.

"It's kind of funny… I'm just like an akuma," Alma said as he lost control of his emotions. He fell to his knees with a miserable look in his eyes.

"Alma?"

"I couldn't stop myself… I want to die, but I can't! I can't stop myself, Yuu!" Alma yelled in sadness, tears flowing out of his eyes endlessly.

Kanda grabbed him in a hug and reassured him. "You understand, don't you? As long as we're alive, the humans will never stop. To win the war, we'd have to be their tools forever. Let's die together," Alma said with salty tears still falling from his anguished eyes.

When the young samurai fell back to the ground, he was presented with the lotus memory he hated and loved. He saw the woman once more, and sat up. "Alma… I'm sorry… but I want to live, even if that means destroying you!"

A fit of uncontrollable rage filled Allen as he watched those things go down. It brought him to half-consciousness, and he yelled, "Stop it! Stop it already! You… you idiot! Kanda!" The ground below him and Road began to crack. "How long are you going to let this go on? That Noah bastard is getting the better of you! He's ransacking your memories!" Everything shattered around them. "Where did that incredibly short temper of yours go?" He yelled, delivering a punch to the unresponsive Kanda. They were back in real time, the spell shattered by his anger.

The Noah named Wisely stared at him with utter shock. "You can move?"

Allen ignored him, and shouted, "Tell me that, Kanda!"

The punch he nailed to Kanda's forehead shattered the strange three eyes that had been there, and the Noah fell backwards in agony at his head. Kanda's body flew back a few feet away.

"You broke his forehead! You're cruel, Allen," Road commented, looking at the nearly-deadly wound.

"We've always been like this," Allen stated, glaring solemnly at the man he cared for.

"You may have been a little too late, though," Road said sadly, looking up at Allen through her doll eyes.

"Walker!" someone Allen didn't know shouted. "Stop Alma Karma!"

Now that he was looking around, he noticed that everyone was trapped by water tubes… they were trapped inside with Alma Karma, and they were all squished together, struggling pointlessly to get out.

"As Alma awakens, his hate is converting into dark matter! He's turning into an akuma!"

Allen stared wide eyed at the glowing mess of tubes, terrified that almost everyone he cared for was trapped inside. As the mass of black energy glowed brighter and brighter, he heard the Earl say, "Kill them."

The white haired teen reached out, but was too late. The black mass of energy exploded and caused a boom to shake the earth miles and miles away.

…

Alma stared at the wreckage he caused with a dull sense of emptiness. Something inside him said he should care, but he couldn't bring himself to. In his scans, he saw someone. "A person?" he wondered idly out loud.

A Japanese samurai stood with flowing long black hair flapping in the wind. His gloved hand squeezed the sword at his side, and he kept a peaceful look on his face.

The newborn akuma's eyes widened as he realized who he was. "Yuu?"

Kanda said nothing as he stared at the akuma that once used to be his friend.

"Yuu, I finally understand why you betrayed me. I hated you for destroying me and only me. As long as we're alive… the humans won't repent." The akuma that looked like an abandoned doll now transformed into the more familiar form of Alma Karma. "It's your fault I became an akuma!"

With a dark look, Kanda unsheathed his sword and said, "Then I'll destroy you."

…

A grunt escaped Allen's lips as he woke up. Someone had shielded him with a talisman, an exorcist Allen didn't know. As Alma's hate grew worse, the exorcist in front of him turned into an akuma. His innocence activated of its own accord, and he panicked. He tried to get it to stop, but it wouldn't. He didn't understand what was going on at all…

Alma's taunting voice from afar asked, "Does your innocence perceive us as enemies?"

Kanda launched his attack against his childhood friend, slicing fearlessly at the powerful being. Allen watched with anguished silver eyes at the scene before him. It hurt his soul to watch what was happening, because Kanda should be holding him and caring for him, not fighting him so coldly. After one of the exorcists-turned akuma threw him to the ground, he heard the Earl say in his head, "Come, Fourteenth. If you agree to come with us, I'll end this show. Abandon the Order, Allen Walker. If you do, I promise to end this tragic slaughter."

Internally, Allen was torn. He wanted the slaughter to end, he _needed_ it to end, but if he handed himself over, there was no telling what they would do to him, to the Fourteenth, to Road… He couldn't do it.

_Calm down, my child_, a strange voice said inside his head. _I'll offer my help to you._

Allen just slumped down and let go of control. He didn't want it anymore, he couldn't _take_ it anymore. The pain was agonizing, and letting go of it was like landing on a pillow before bed. It was comforting, soft, warm, and welcoming. It was an oasis away from the darkness of the world around him… an escape.

Suddenly, golden eyes snapped open and pale skin faded to an ashen gray. A row of obsidian black stigmata protruded from his forehead, and he stood up in a fury. "I order you to stop this pointless attack, Alma Karma!" Passionately, he added, "All you akuma, stop your attack this instant!"

Laughter erupted from next to him. "Long time no see, Neah."

When Alma and the third exorcists all froze, Kanda felt dread flood his system. When he heard the all too familiar voice of Allen, his heart wrenched because he knew it wasn't Allen talking. The dark haired Japanese teen looked with fear at the last place he saw Allen, only to see a Noah wearing his skin.

Absolutely terrifying fury filled those big golden eyes that used to be silver. "Adam…" Neah said with acid in his tone. "I will kill you. Mark my words, I'll kill you."

"Alma Karma, I order you to kill Yuu Kanda," the Millennium Earl said with a sick and twisted glint in his eyes.

"I thwart that order!" Neah yelled. "If you want me, come and get me. You leave other people out of our mess!"

The Noah vanished suddenly, and Allen sagged to the ground, blinking in and out of focus. He could actually remember what the Noah said, and something had been different in that takeover. Allen himself had been more coherent, but he wasn't sure how he did it. He looked up at all the shocked faces around him before his hazy gaze settled on Kanda. It couldn't focus at all, and he passed out on the ground.

The Earl stared at the boy in wonder as he motioned Tyki to grab him. Out of nowhere, Fo came and protected him against the Noah. Once again, the fight between Kanda and Alma resumed, but Kanda was distracted. He continuously looked back at the pale, unconscious teen with uncontrollable, stifling worry.

He internally cursed himself for allowing his emotions to be out onto the battlefield. This wasn't how he used to operate…

As he dodged an attack from Alma above, he took a deep breath and focused on just fighting. He didn't allow himself to think at all… The reflexes he developed such a long time ago took over, allowing him to distance himself from the fight and not think.

He didn't know when Allen finally got up. It could have been minutes or hours, he didn't know. All he knew was that suddenly, there was Allen Walker standing in his way of killing Alma.

"Alma, get back!" he yelled, bracing his body.

"Who are you?" Alma asked.

"What are you doing?" Kanda asked threateningly.

"Stop attacking Alma!" Allen yelled, throwing himself between them once more. "You're killing yourself with this, Kanda!" Painfully, Mugen slashed his shoulder, and he coughed up blood. Even that didn't stop the samurai's insane battle lust.

When Alma wrapped up Allen for asking if Kanda could be forgiven, Allen broke through and slammed the akuma to the ground. Something happened that nobody could explain until the Earl admitted Alma was just a battered body full of hate. Allen scooped up Alma in his arms and stood before Kanda.

"You see what's happened to Alma? You don't care… because it's too painful! You won't even talk to him! What did he want from you? Just your friendship, even if it meant swallowing his hatred of the Order. What are you running from, Kanda?" Allen yelled before he set down Alma.

In this out of control mindset Kanda was in, he wasn't thinking clearly. Too much had happened for him to be able to do so in this fight. All he wanted was Alma dead… gone. At peace. He wanted everything to be over.

But his anger was misdirected. Somehow, he was yelling at Allen things he didn't even know… not exactly. He said whatever sounded angry enough in the moment. This time, when Kanda attacked, it was directed right to the snow haired teen he cared about.

He didn't snap out of his stupor until his sword was buried hilt-deep through Allen's midsection. Allen practically collapsed onto his shoulder, and he breathed softly, "Take a look… at Alma's face. Why does he look like that? I have… no idea," Allen said painfully before falling to the ground, skin an ashen gray again and black stigmata across his once pale forehead.

"Allen," Kanda breathed soundlessly, dropping his sword in shock at what he'd done.

Evil laughter filled the silent air as the ground began to rumble, and light surrounded the fallen teen. "Thanks, Yuu Kanda!" the Earl's malicious voice said. "With a wound like that, he's fully awakened! It's all thanks to you wounding him with your innocence! Now the Fourteenth won't ever lose control ever again. The Noah's hatred of innocence is eternal. The more they're injured by it, the stronger their hatred gets! _Allen Walker is over!_" rejoiced the Millennium Earl, smiling devilishly.

…

It felt like Allen was locked inside himself, restrained from moving even an inch. Out of the shadowy abyss surrounding him, a dark haired figure stepped forward. He looked so much like Tyki that Allen felt confused and disoriented. The only thing he could think was that everything hurt; it was a fiery pain all around him, as if he were trapped in a fire place.

"Tyki?" he asked halfheartedly, trying to ignore the excruciating pain flooding his body.

"No," the man answered. "I am the Fourteenth Noah… the Noah of destruction. I'm Neah… your father."

Allen's eyes widened. He hadn't ever seen him like this before, not during any of the times he'd taken control. This was very different, and Allen felt helpless.

"You were a puppet for so many people. I wish that would have landed on anyone but you… I'm sorry that I cannot release you. Only you have the power to take back control…" he said solemnly, as if he were looking into Allen's coffin. "I wished I could have given you longer."

"Wait! No! Please," Allen begged, pulling against the chains that wrapped him.

Neah walked away, fading into darkness. An overwhelming amount of fear gripped his heart and tears spilled from his eyes. This couldn't be his end… he wouldn't let it! When he struggled harder, a new person walked into the black abyss. "Mana?" Allen gasped, looking at the familiar mask through his salty tears.

"Allen," he said, extending a hand.

The chains snapped, and when Allen's innocence hand reached Mana's outstretched one, he was in control of his body once more. His eye was activated, and the first thing he saw was Kanda holding Alma in his arms.

"Die!" Alma yelled as dark matter formed around them everywhere.

"Kanda, he's about to self-destruct!" Allen shouted as he realized why his eye was activated. "Stop him!"

It was too late. The dark matter exploded, leaving nothing but dust in its wake. Allen himself was unharmed, but everything around them was rubble. An agonizing pain broke his heart as he screamed Kanda's name and received no response. When Allen found his body, it was crumbling down and breaking apart. A strange sphere with his old tattoo on it sat next to him, and Allen broke down crying and sobbing. He realized Alma had the soul of the woman Kanda used to love, and he cried harder. Alma had to have found out through the Noah's spell… and became an akuma to keep it a secret. "Why?" Allen wondered out loud. "What's going to happen to Kanda? How will Kanda… who knew nothing these nine years… feel about this?" The tears spilled endlessly from Allen's silver eyes.

"I can't tell him." Allen looked up, and his eye activated. "If he learns that I'm _that woman_, he won't search for me anymore. Our promise that day… as long as Yuu's promise to her binds him, he will always belong to her."

Allen realized that Kanda never had been his to begin with. That made his heart ache, but he knew it was stupid in a time like this. As he moved Alma closer to Kanda's body, he realized that letting Kanda go was easier now. At long last, Kanda had found who he was searching for, and it never had been Allen. There were no ties that bound them together… except their promises. Soon, Allen would sever those ties. He needed to in order to finally let Kanda be free of everything about the holy war, the exorcists, the innocence… and him.

The snow haired teen was ripped from his thoughts when left over dark matter took over Alma once more. He knew it was the Earl's fault, so he used his innocence to wrap up and drag the Earl down. He gave the remains of Alma to Kanda, who was now conscious and coherent.

"Do you remember where we went on our first mission?"

"Yes!"

Allen felt the ache in his heart intensify, but he nodded. He climbed the mess of tubes and pipes to the highest peak before summoning the ark. As Kanda and Alma went inside, Allen shouted, "You're free! You have no obligation to me!" He didn't miss the widening of Kanda's eyes as he closed the gate.

Suddenly feeling heavy and exhausted, he slumped backwards, looking at the sky before he lost consciousness again, this time, sinking deeper than before until everything was darker than black.

* * *

Hehe, yeah... the end was a shameless Darker than Black reference. Anyone else watch it? I loved it. Anyway, please, please, _please_ tell me what you think of this chapter. I want your opinion. _**Review.**_


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